Sweet Caroline
by londongrace
Summary: A teenage girl moves to a new town. She meets a boy and eventually falls in love with him. The story seems ordinary until an unexpected twist causes it to be completely different than what the reader is used to.
1. This Summer is the One

I watched the raindrops as they danced down the window pane. I sighed, wondering when the summer weather would come. For the first two weeks of summer vacation, there had been nothing but rain. So far, I was _not_ impressed with Wisconsin. Cold winter, rainy summer. My skin was still pale, and I longed for the deep bronze color my skin had always become early in the summer. As I stared through the blurred glass, all I could think about was the love I had wanted to feel since I could remember. _This is it_, I thought, _this summer is the one_.

Late last summer, I had moved into a new house, a new city, and was ready to reinvent myself. At my old school, I was known for the parties I threw and attended every weekend. I would do anything with any boy and hadn't had my virginity since eighth grade. Of course, all good things come to an end and my reining popularity had ended due to my parents uprooting my life and moving me to some small town in Wisconsin. I was sick of my whorish image and decided that I would clean up my act. I knew it would be a challenge, but I had convinced myself that it was for the best.

I had easily made friends early on. My charming personality and almost flawless looks (wink wink) made me seem like the perfect girl who knew other things besides the best place to get drunk and not get caught. I effortlessly (ha) fit in with the most well-known and popular kids at my new school.


	2. Time For a Little Fun

My phone buzzed on the counter next to me. I ignored it and kept staring out the window. A minute later, it buzzed again, telling me that I had a voicemail in my inbox. I sighed and picked it up.

"Hey Caroline, it's Tasha. I wanted to tell you that there's a party at Ryan's tonight, and he really wanted me to invite you. So, call me back if you want to come. Or if you don't. The party's at 9. Bye."

I hung up and typed Tasha's number. "Hey Tasha, how are you?"

"Care! I'm good, how have you been? I haven't seen you in _forever_. Are you going to come tonight?"

"I'm okay, I've been feeling kind of shitty today, but I think it's the weather. Wisconsin _sucks_. And, yeah. I'm coming."

"Yeah, it gets old real fast. Do you want me to pick you up? I think everyone's going to sleep over there, his parents are taking everyone's keys."

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

"Okay, then I'll be there at like 9:30, okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be ready."

I walked down to the basement to take a shower. On my way to the bathroom, I stopped in my bedroom to grab some clothes. I decided on a short blue dress and a long beaded necklace. Minutes later I was in the shower shaving my legs.

"Where are you going?"

I jumped. "Oh, my God, Travis, you scared the shit out of me. A party. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to come home. I don't always want to be at my apartment alone," Travis, my twenty-two-year-old brother replied.

"Oh. Okay." Tasha pulled into the driveway. "Well, my ride's here. If Mom and Dad ask, I'm at Ryan's and I'm sleeping there. See you later."

"Can we hang out tomorrow?"

I was surprised. "Yeah, sure." Tasha tapped her horn.

"I'll pick you up at that kid's house."

"Ryan. I'll give you directions tomorrow."

"Okay. See you then. Have fun."


	3. Ryan

Ryan's party was in full swing by the time Tasha and I pulled in an hour later. Tasha had gotten lost and made a wrong turn and had ended up driving into the country. I walked inside and was instantly pulled aside by Payton, another friend of mine.

"Where have you been? I got a text from you what, an hour ago, saying you were pulling out of your driveway, and you _just_ got here."

"Tasha sucks at driving."

"Oh."

"I do not!" Tasha said. "I just misinterpreted the directions."

"Tasha, you've been here before."

I laughed. "How did you get lost then?"

"I don't pay attention to signs, okay? No big deal, we're here, aren't we? We're in one piece."

"Alright," I laughed, "whatever."

Just then, Ryan appeared. "Hola chicas, que pasa?"

Tasha looked at him with a confused look and started walking off. "I'm going to get a beer. Caroline, Mike's Hard?"

"Yeah, any flavor," I said to Tasha. To Ryan, "I'm alright, now that I'm here."

Ryan smiled and led me to the couch. Payton walked off. Tasha came back looking confused, and then spotted me. She threw the bottle of Mike's to me and walked up to a girl I didn't recognize and started chatting her up. I was alone with Ryan.

Hours later, after I had given up on Mike's and switched to something with lots of Bacardi in it, I was still talking to Ryan. Somehow I had gotten onto his lap and was facing him, one leg on each side of his body. I wasn't paying attention to anything he said; I was just studying his attractive face. I got caught up in the green of his eyes and the tiny freckles that were sprinkled across his nose. I listened to the deep tones of his voice and how every once in a while he would stop and think. I noticed he was far from drunk. My eyes traveled down his body, to his arms and hands. He was strong, and his arms showed it. His hands were big and callused, as he loved to sail on the lake nearby.

"Caroline? Did you hear me?"

"What? Yeah. My favorite song of his is Dark Blue."

"Mine too! Jack's Mannequin is probably better than any other band I've heard live. He's my favorite." There was a silence between us, but not an awkward one. It was a silence in which you've realized you have yet another thing in common with someone. Then Ryan leaned in really close and softly whispered, "Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well I'm here with you…" And at that moment, I realized that I _was _alone, and that was why when I placed my lips on his, I felt the spark that I had been wanting and waiting for.


	4. Spanish

I had first met Ryan on my first day at my Wisconsin school. He was in my Spanish class, and he had helped me learn the many verbs and how to conjugate them.

"Lugar."

"Lugar."

"Lugo, lugas, luga, lugamos, lugais, lugan."

"What?"

"I clean, you clean, he cleans, we clean, you all clean, they clean."

"Oh."

"What's your number?"

"555-3438."

"I can help you outside of school."

"Okay. If you really want to."

Ryan had a girlfriend then. Her name was Elle, and she was the School Bitch. She was a year older than us, and he called her his Older Woman. He always talked about her when we were studying, and he told me that on the outside she could be mean, but she was nice and generous to him. I had found out firsthand how mean she could be, as she had found out I was studying with Ryan privately. She hated me after that, and never failed to scoff in my direction whenever our paths crossed. I would always tell Ryan about our encounters, and it always seem like he didn't believe me until the day he broke up with her.

"I broke up with Elle today."

"Oh. Why?" I was so surprised; he always seemed so in love with her.

"If she can't be nice to my friends, she doesn't deserve to be my girlfriend."

"Good for you."


	5. The Kiss

As Ryan and I kissed each other, it felt like we fell out of the room and were floating around aimlessly, forever connected to each other. Then he stopped suddenly, and said, "You're really drunk."

"But see, the thing is, I'm really not. I have a really high tolerance for alcohol. Bad past."

"You're totally drunk; I don't even know what you just said."

"Ryan, it's fine, I'm not going to regret this, I've wanted it for a long time." I didn't even realize that was what I wanted until I said it. But it was the truth, and I felt it. Ever since we had started studying together, I had liked him.

He looked at me for a while, studying my face. He was trying to see inside my head, if I was actually thinking or not. He kissed me hard, and I thought that he must have made up his mind.

At about two in the morning, I completely blacked out. I remember being carried into a bed, but after that, nothing.

I woke up the next morning in what I figured was Ryan's bed. I wasn't even hung over, which I thought was probably a bad thing. I rolled over to find Ryan, shirt off and still asleep. _Oh, shit_, I thought, as I sat up. I was relieved to find that my dress was still on underneath a sweatshirt that smelled like Ryan. I looked around for my phone and found it on the nightstand, next to my necklace and headband. I looked at the time, 9:32, and figured I could get away with another two hours of sleep before my brother called me. I lay back down and cuddled up close to Ryan. His arms tightened around me and I fell into a deep sleep.


	6. Good Morning, Sunshine

Travis called me at noon. I sat up and Ryan wasn't there. "Hello?"

"Hey. You have fun?"

"Yeah, I did. What did you do last night?"

"I had a couple guys over."

"Oh. Fun."

"Yeah. When should I pick you up?"

"Um, well, I guess you could leave in like a half hour." I gave him directions to Ryan's house and hung up right as Ryan walked in.

"Hey," I said, smiling.

He grinned back. "Good morning sunshine. How did you sleep?"

"Good."

"How's your head?"

"Clear. I don't get hangovers anymore. I told you last night that I have a pretty high tolerance."

"Huh. So you weren't as drunk as I thought you were?"

"Nope. Not then, at least." I paused. "Um, did we…you know…" I raised my eyebrows and nodded at his below-the-belt area.

"No. We didn't."

"Good."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, starving." He reached for my hand and pulled me up. He pulled me close to him and kissed me on the forehead.

"Let's eat, then."

We walked into Ryan's large kitchen which I hadn't even seen the night before. It was messy from the party, with beer cans and food and open bottles of alcohol all over the marble countertops. "Where is everyone?" I asked him.

"They left at nine. My mom left for work, too. She doesn't know you're here." He smirked.

"So no one's home?" He shook his head as he leaned in to kiss me. "My brother's coming to get me soon, though."

He didn't seem to hear me. He kissed me again. We stood that way, kiss after sweet kiss hitting my lips, until Travis beeped his horn.

"I'm still hungry," I laughed, and Ryan smiled.

"We'll have to go out to dinner, then."

"Maybe tomorrow, though," I started, "Me and my brother are hanging out today."

"Alright," Ryan stopped to think, "I'll pick you up at 6 tomorrow night."

I smiled. "Okay, see you then." I kissed him quickly and walked out the door.


	7. Wait, What?

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, confused, "You're telling me that you've had a girlfriend for like, two years and you never said _anything _about her?"

"Yeah," Travis said nervously, "but there's more."

I leaned across the sticky diner table to hear more.

"I'm going to propose to her next week."

My jaw dropped. "_You're_ going to get _married_? Oh, my God."

"Is that a_ good_ Oh, my God or a _bad _Oh, my God?"

The waitress dropped our food on the table. "It's good! I'm going to have a sister!"

He sighed, obviously relieved. "Yeah, but you have to remember not to tell Mom and Dad. It took a lot to just tell _you_." He cut into his chocolate chip pancake.

"Okay, I won't. But you have to tell them before you go back home, in person." He looked nervous. "Oh, and I have news too."

"What?"

I smiled. "Ryan and I are together now."

"I want to meet this kid; see if he's a nice guy."

"Stop calling him a kid, his name's Ryan."

"Did you sleep with him last night? Is that why you were the only one there when I picked you up? There was no party?"

_That _pissed me off. "I don't sleep around anymore, Travis. There was a party last night, and a bunch of people slept over, and everyone left earlier this morning. Don't even pull that shit on me. I'm not like that anymore and you know it."

"How do I even know what you're like now? How do I know his parents weren't out of town and that it was just you two alone?"

"It's called trust," I snapped, "You should trust me; I'm your sister."

"I never used to be able to trust you all that much."

"Well, I'm different now. I've changed. You can trust me now when I say that there _was_ a huge party and that a ton of people slept over but left earlier this morning. Ryan's mom left for work after everyone else left."

"Well, then, why didn't she kick you out?" Travis raised his eyebrows, waiting for my answer.

I stared at him. "She didn't know I was there."

He snorted as though that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. "And why didn't she know?"

"Because I slept in Ryan's room."

"On the floor?"

"In his bed."

"With him?"

"Well, yeah, but we were actually sleeping, though. I passed out last night and he carried me to his bed."

Travis rolled his eyes. He was pissed at me. "God, Caroline, you're so fucking stupid." I held my breath. "Maybe next time you go to a party, have somebody who's _not_ drunk stay with you. He could have raped you and you wouldn't even know."

"He would never _rape_ me."

"How would you know? You were passed out!"

The waitress returned to our table and set the check down on the table. "Ya'll done?"

"Yeah," Travis and I said in tandem.

The waitress cleared our plates and Travis slapped a twenty on the table. "Let's go," he mumbled.

The car was filled with an empty, pissed off silence as Travis drove us home. We pulled into the driveway and he immediately cut the engine. He got out of the car and quickly went inside. I sat in the car for a minute and then took out my cell phone. I hit send when I came across Ryan's number.

"Come over."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be over in a little while."

"Okay, bye," I said as I climbed out of my brother's small car and headed inside.


	8. You're Different, Right?

When Ryan pulled into the driveway in his black pickup truck, I walked outside. I was sure Travis was watching us, so I grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled him inside. As we were walking down the hall towards the basement stairs, I heard Travis clear his throat from the living room. I shot him a look and started down the stairs. I led Ryan to my bedroom and shut the door. He sat on my bed, and I plopped down onto my computer chair.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked me.

"I'm pissed."

He looked concerned. "Why?"

"My brother thinks that you 'took advantage' of me last night when I passed out."

His face fell. "Why would he think I did that?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded slowly.

"Well, at my old school, I was kind of known for being the easy party girl." I paused. Ryan looked at me curiously. "I had parties all the time, and I was always drunk every weekend, all weekend. One time, at one of my really big, crazy parties that Travis was chaperoning, I had gotten so drunk that I couldn't even stand up. At the time, I was dating this hotshot football player, and he had taken me downstairs to 'calm down' a bit. My brother watched him carry me downstairs." This was harder than I thought; I had never told anyone before. Ryan must have seen my uneasiness and pulled me onto the bed so he could put his arm around me. "The kid I was dating, Luke, laid me down on the couch and started taking my clothes off. I couldn't even think, so I didn't do anything to stop him. He started to have sex with me, and probably thought it was fine because we'd done it before," I stopped talking for a second and noticed my voice was shaking. Ryan was still looking at me. "Then Luke left me down there by myself, naked. Travis noticed I hadn't come up with Luke, so he went down to look for me. I was passed out on the couch. He woke me up and helped me get dressed then he stayed there with me until I fell asleep again. Then he went upstairs and kicked Luke's ass." I was crying now. "_That's_ why he thought you took advantage of me. But I said you didn't and you wouldn't. Because you're different. Right?"

Ryan didn't say anything. He just looked at me for a while, then leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Of course I am." He wiped away my tears and kissed me.


	9. Let's Go Somewhere

A few hours later, while watching a movie, I fell asleep in Ryan's arms. When I woke up, the movie was over and Ryan was gone. I looked at the time on my phone and was surprised to see that it was already eight o'clock. I was starving, so I went upstairs to eat. When I walked past the living room, I saw Travis sitting by Mom and Dad, a smile stretched across each of their faces. _Travis must have finally told them_, I thought. None of them saw me, so I kept walking.

I made myself some pasta, ate it, and headed back downstairs. I picked up my phone and called Payton.

"Hey, let's hang out tonight."

"Um, okay. What do you want to do?"

I thought for a second. "Are there any parties?"

There was a pause. "Yeah, Alex Crawford is having one tonight. Do you want to go?"

"Yeah. Pick me up in an hour?"

"Sure. See you then."

I quickly took a shower. I pulled skinny jeans out of my closet, along with a purple top and flats. I let my long brunette curls fall down my back. Right before nine o'clock Ryan called me.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked me.

"Yeah, much better," I replied.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm heading over to Alex's with Payton."

"Should I meet you there?"

He sounded like he really wanted to be with me, so I said, "Sure." Just then, the other line beeped in. "I have to go, Payton's here."

"Bye."

There weren't too many people at Alex's house. "This party sucks," Payton complained.

"Let's stay a little longer and see if more people come."

She sighed. "Fine. But only for like, an hour. This is a waste of time."

After an hour, the party still sucked. Just as Payton and I were about to leave, Ryan walked in.

"Are you staying or going?" Payton asked, raising her eyebrows.

I looked at Ryan. "I'll stay. Thanks."

"Text me tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I will."

As Payton pulled out of Alex's driveway, Ryan asked me why we were leaving.

"This party sucks."

"Is it worth staying?"

I looked at Ryan, then at the "party," then back at Ryan. "Not at all."

"Let's go somewhere then." Before I could answer, Ryan grabbed my hand and led me out to his truck.


	10. Surprise

"Oh! There's a G!" I yelled as I pointed it out. "The gynecologist's office!"

"Shit!" Ryan said with a smile on his face. "I just saw a church sign that said something about God."

"Well now I have six points," I grinned, "and you have one. You suck at this game."

We were in the car, on our way to somewhere. Ryan wouldn't tell me. We were playing the alphabet game, you know the one in which you and whoever is in the car with you find the letters of the alphabet in anything and everything you drive past. We were now on the letter H.

"The Hilton!" I screamed as we drove past a large hotel.

"Damn! How do you find these?" He scratched his head.

"Um, I actually look."

"Well, I'm driving, so I have an excuse to why I'm losing by six."

"Ryan, the first _five_ were street signs."

"So." He put his blinker on and got on the exit ramp.

"It's about time," I said, tired. "We've been driving for, like, ever."

"It's only been forty-five minutes, calm down. We still have about fifteen minutes to go."

"Where are you taking me? It's past eleven!"

He turned again. We were suddenly in the middle of nowhere, and it was pitch black. I hate the dark, and I got scared. I grabbed Ryan's free hand and squeezed it.

"What's wrong? Are you afraid of the dark?" He looked at me. My heart was beating insanely fast and I couldn't catch my breath. "Don't worry, we're almost there." He drove past an old gas station that held only one pump. There were cornstalks on each side. There were actually cornstalks everywhere. Ryan turned again. Soon, wooden streetlights appeared every mile or so. "See? It's alright. We're really almost there."

He pulled into the driveway of a house that looked abandoned. The house was placed in a very random place and position. In between two different corn fields, the large gray house sat diagonally to the street. The driveway was also placed at an awkward angle. It made a Y with the road and curved behind the house. There were no lights on, no car in the driveway, no sign of existence.

"What is this place?" Goosebumps covered my body.

Ryan didn't answer. He turned the car off and got out. I followed him. He was walking fast and I had to run to catch up to him. When I was finally next to him, he held my hand and walked up the stairs to the front porch.

"Ryan, this is scary, where are we?" I whispered.

"You'll see," he answered in a voice that was louder than mine. He took a key out of his pocket and stuck it into the lock. The door creaked open. Ryan reached for a light switch and when he found it, he flicked it up. Nothing happened.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "Follow me." He pulled me into the next room. He tried the light switch. It worked. The light flooded the old kitchen, which contained numerous appliances that looked like they were from the eighties. Everything was covered in dust.

"Ryan. Look at me. Where are we?"

"My grandma's old house," he replied with a smile.

"Why?" I was confused. "Why are we at your grandma's old house?" I paused. "Wait. This is her old house. Which means it doesn't belong to her anymore. Whose house is it?"

He didn't answer for a moment. He was looking around the old kitchen, smiling. "It's mine," he said finally.

I was stunned. "Yours? Why is it yours?"

He looked at me. "You ask a lot of questions."

My face got serious. "Answer."

"She gave it to me in her will."

My face dropped. I was speechless.

"So now I'm a senior in high school and I already own a house! " He giggled. "It's crazy, isn't it?"

I didn't laugh. "Why are we here?"

"I wanted to be alone with you," he said. His face looked so innocent.

"We could have been alone somewhere else!"

"Why are you so mad?"

"Because you scared me when you were driving. You were driving through nowhere, and it was dark, and I was scared and you didn't stop or explain or anything." My heart was still racing, and I could feel my face getting hot.

He stared at me for a few minutes. I stared back.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I just always want to be with you. And I know this is new, and I know I've seen you a bunch of times today, but I was never really alone with you. Being with you makes me happy and I already feel so comfortable with you…" he trailed off. I was still upset. I wasn't as scared as I was earlier, but my breath was still coming in short huffs. Ryan wrapped his strong arms around my short body. "I really am sorry, Caroline."

I looked up at him. His eyes were still that amazing green, and his freckles, I noticed, were not only on his nose, but were randomly poured across his whole face. His reddish brown curls fell over his forehead. He was so good-looking and so sincere that I couldn't stay mad at him. I stood as tall as I could on my toes and didn't yet reach his face, but he leaned down and met my lips in a slow, deep kiss. Several minutes later, Ryan stopped kissing me and said, "I want to show you the rest of the house." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the next room.


	11. The Mixed Tape

After Ryan had shown me every room in the house and had changed the light bulb in the front hall, he took me to one last room on the third floor. It had its own staircase as it was the only room on that floor. Ryan led me up the flight of stairs, and stopped at the large wooden door at the top. He looked at me, then at the door, then back at me.

"This room's my favorite," he said excitedly as he opened the door slowly. "It's different from everything else here."

He reached for the light switch and flicked the light on. Ryan was right, the room was different. It was the only modern-day room in the whole house. It was small, with low, angled ceilings, but it had a charm to it, like it looked like it wasn't supposed to be there, but it was where it belonged. There was a small twin-sized bed in one corner, a nightstand sitting next to it, and an acoustic guitar sitting on a stand in another corner. There was a large window in the center of one wall that I assumed looked out onto the front yard. There was a small television set on a table and a large stereo sitting on the floor next to it.

"Why is this room here?" I asked finally.

"It was my room," Ryan started to explain, "for whenever I came over to visit my grandma. She set it up especially for me."

I thought for a moment. "Were you really close?"

He looked at me. "Yeah, she was my favorite. I'm the middle child in my family, and I never felt as needed or as loved as my brother or sister, so I stayed here a lot."

There was a long pause.

"She died a few years ago from breast cancer. I was crushed. I got completely antisocial towards everyone – my family, my friends – everyone. I always came here whenever I was feeling really bad." He continued, "They couldn't find her will, so after a few months of looking, they gave up and put the house on the market. I didn't like my parents after that. I came here even more than I used to and spent time in every room; a different room every day. I made my way to the top – my room. I opened one of the drawers in the dresser because I felt like something important was in it. The will was in there. It was like she knew I'd look there." I must have looked surprised. "I took it home to my parents before I even read it and they were surprised to hear me talking to them. They took the house off the market after they went through everything with a lawyer. Now I own this and I don't pay a thing."

"Why don't you pay for it?"

"She left me about four million dollars in a trust fund. So that money is used for college and the house. I didn't know she had that much money. Plus the taxes aren't much. There's not much to pay for out here."

"Holy shit."

"I know!" His smile stretched from ear to ear.

From that night on, we spent most of our days at that house, exploring, talking, and kissing. One day, when we were laying on his childhood bed listening to the radio, I sat up suddenly. "Why do you have that guitar?" It had been on my mind for weeks.

He sat up too. "It was my grandpa's."

"Do you know how to play it?"

Without answering, he walked over to the guitar stand and lifted the guitar into his hands. He sat back on the bed, blew the dust off, and played a few chords. It sounded terrible. "I'm a little rusty," he mumbled under his breath. He tried it again, and then realized what the problem was. Ryan started tuning the old guitar. After ten minutes of tuning, he got up and turned off the radio. Then he started playing.

I recognized the opening chords instantly. It was a Jack's Mannequin song, The Mixed Tape. "This is morning," he sang, "it's when I spend the most time thinking 'bout what I've given up…" I listened in amazement as Ryan sang and strummed his grandpa's guitar beautifully. "And this is my mixed tape for her; it's like I wrote every note with my own finger." The song ended. I just sat there, staring at him. "Was it that bad?" he asked me.

I didn't answer. I just leaned over and started kissing him. He set the guitar down and started to kiss me back, hard. Soon enough, we were going further than we'd ever gone, and I didn't want to stop. My tank top and shorts were already on the floor, next to Ryan's shirt. I started unzipping his shorts. He didn't stop me. Soon we were both nearly naked, Ryan with his boxers on, and me with my thong. The bed was too hot and too little for us, so I pulled Ryan onto the floor. He felt around for his shorts and when he found them, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. I kept kissing him. I moved from his mouth to his neck, and he took off my thong. I pulled down his boxers and slid the condom over his erection, and then he moved inside of me.

The action of having sex was nothing new to me, but this time felt like the first time. I had never felt much for anybody before, and I could tell I was falling in love with Ryan.


	12. Sweet Caroline

After Ryan had fallen asleep, I got off the floor. I pulled my clothes on and went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. All there was in the refrigerator was a jar of pickles and some beers. I checked the freezer – nothing. I checked the cabinet and all I found was a dead mouse. I screamed and slammed the cabinet shut.

"Caroline?"

I jumped. "Oh, my God, you scared me."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "_I _scared _you_? You just screamed the loudest I think I've ever heard _anyone _scream." He laughed.

"Well, there's a dead mouse in your cabinet!" I paused. Ryan laughed harder. "And you have absolutely no food."

"Do you want to go to get some food?" he asked me, still snickering.

"Yeah. I'm starving."

He reached into his pocket for his car keys. "Okay, then. Let's go!" He clapped.

"You're not going to do anything about this?" I asked him, pointing at the cabinet.

"Nope."

"It's going to start to smell soon."

"Oh, well."

"You're going to make me clean it up, aren't you."

A smile stretched across his face. "Yep!"

"Fine."

I cleaned out the cabinet with a tongs I found in a drawer and then we were on our way. It was about three in the afternoon when we pulled into the parking lot of the diner that me and Travis had eaten at several weeks ago.

As I was looking at the sticky menu, Ryan was messing around with the mini jukebox on the table. He turned to a song I instantly recognized. After the first verse had ended, Ryan began to sing along. "Touching you, touching me!" He grabbed a spoon and used it as a microphone. "Sweet Caroline! BAH BAH BAH – "

"_No_," I said, smiling.

"Why not?" he asked, bouncing around in the booth.

"Because, that song gets so old. Do you want to know how many people sing that to me?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah," he responded, still bouncing around.

"Too many."

Ryan sang even louder. People started staring at us.

"Ryan! Stop singing! People are looking at you!" I giggled.

He stopped for a second, only to say, "So," then kept on singing.

After we finished eating and I finally got Ryan to stop singing, we headed back to my house. As we drove down my street, I noticed a car in the spot where Ryan usually parked his truck – in the street directly in front of the walkway.

"Who's in my spot?" Ryan asked me quietly, pulling up behind the white car.

"I have no idea," I responded, checking out the car.


	13. Meeting Grace

As we walked into the house, I heard laughter coming from the living room. I led Ryan through the hallway and into the living room, where I got my first look at Travis's wife-to-be. She was beautiful. In one glance I noticed her perfectly straight, short blonde hair, her clear, pale skin, and her bright blue eyes. She was well-dressed: she wore a black pencil skirt, a fitted white blouse with a skinny black belt looped around her waist, and the _cutest_ black pumps I had ever seen. She was sitting next to Travis comfortably on the love seat while my parents sat across from them on the couch. They had just heard what seemed like another of my dad's jokes.

"Care!" Travis exclaimed, his eyes brightening, "I didn't know when you'd be home."

"Hey, Trav. Hey Mom and Dad."

My mom smiled and rose to greet us. She kissed me on the cheek and gave Ryan a huge hug. "Hey Care Bear," my dad said. "Ryan, how 'ya been, man?" My dad had been trying to talk "cool" ever since I started dating Ryan. He wasn't succeeding.

"I'm great," Ryan said, holding in a chuckle.

"Caroline, this is my fiancée, Grace," Travis introduced us, still smiling. "Gracie, this is Caroline, my baby sister."

I waved awkwardly at the woman I would soon be related to. She smiled genuinely and waved back. She didn't hit me with the "I've heard so much about you" crap. She simply said, "Hi Caroline," in a sweet, kind voice.

"And, Grace, that's Ryan, Caroline's boyfriend," he added. Travis had begun to like Ryan more and more lately. Whenever I pulled into my driveway after work, I saw Ryan's truck in its usual spot and I could count on Ryan and Travis in Travis's old room playing video games.

Ryan hopped over to Travis and Grace and shook Grace's hand seriously, saying "Nice to meet you," and then shifted over to Travis, where he suddenly started a secret handshake the two must have made up in their alone time.

"Are you serious?" I asked them, laughing.

"Just wait," Ryan said, concentrating hard, "it gets better."

Just after I rolled my eyes in response, I saw Ryan make a fist and aim it at Travis's face, and then Ryan's voice and fist worked in tandem as he said "BAM! BAM!" and his fist rocketed towards my brother's face. Right before Ryan actually hit him, Travis jerked his head backwards like he was getting punched. I was impressed by the fact that Ryan looked like he was actually punching Travis. My dad immediately jumped up and ran over to them, wanting to join in.

"Sorry, Pops, but we aren't making any changes," Travis said, suddenly serious. Grace, my mom, and I were all laughing at how ridiculous the whole handshake was.

"That whole charade took you two clowns about five minutes," my mom said. "Are you going to do that every time you see each other?"

Travis and Ryan looked at each other for a second, then back at my mom and said, in unison, "We already do!"

I laughed again. Ryan walked over to the other love seat and raised his eyebrows at me. I took his hint and sat down next to him. His arm found its way around my shoulders and I felt my body relax. We sat and talked with my parents and Travis and Grace for about an hour until my parents announced that they were going to be late for their dinner reservations. The four of them said their goodbyes and headed out the door.


	14. I Think I'm in Love

We were lying on my bed, my head on Ryan's chest, about three hours later. It was totally quiet, and Ryan was playing with my hair, which he knew would put me to sleep, when he suddenly said, "Hey Caroline, I think I'm in love with you."

I was instantly awake, and it was hard for me to breathe. I lifted my head and looked at him for a few seconds. "I'm in love with you too."

He smiled at me, then pulled me up, closer to his face, and said, "And I mean it."

I closed my eyes and kissed him with everything I had in me. As I stopped to take a breath, I added, "Me too," and placed my lips back where they belonged. When we had finished, I put my head back on his chest and we resumed what we had been doing before.

Ryan's hand stopped moving after awhile and he brought up a random subject. "We should go camping."

I mustered up as much energy I could to answer him, but I was falling asleep fast. I made an "uhhh" sound, which Ryan must have taken as a yes, and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke a couple hours later, still lying on top of Ryan. I checked my cell phone for the time – 11:11. I had nothing to wish for, so I closed my eyes and was half asleep when Ryan started thrashing around. I immediately jumped up, completely freaked out. When I realized he was having a nightmare, I kissed his forehead and he rolled over, pushing me off of him.

"_Ryan_," I said, shaking his shoulder.

He rolled over again, rubbing his eyes. "What?" he mumbled, barely awake.

I kissed him, and his eyes opened. "Are you okay?" I asked him, my chin resting on his chest.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me, confused. He must not have remembered his dream.

I closed my eyes. "Nothing, never mind."

He was quiet for a moment, and I thought he was asleep again, but then he sat up. "Are your parents going to be okay for me sleeping over tonight? I'm too tired to drive home."

"Yeah, I'm sure they'll be fine with it, they pretty much love you more than they love me," I said seriously.

Ryan punched my arm lightly and got out of bed. "I'll be right back, I have to pee."

I laughed in response and also got up. Ryan gave me a kiss on the cheek and left my room. I changed into my pajama shorts and a tank top. I heard the toilet flush and jumped back into bed. Thirty seconds later, Ryan walked back into my room and closed the door. He pulled his shirt off and dug through my closet. When he found a pair of sweat pants long enough to fit him, he pulled off his shorts and replaced them with the pants. Ryan saw me under the covers and jumped on top of me. I laughed and he tickled me in the most ticklish spot on my body: my back. I laughed even harder and rolled over. Ryan kissed me again and pulled the blanket over his muscular body. He pulled me close to him and our bodies meshed together in comfort. I fell asleep almost instantly.


	15. An Off Day

I yanked a large pink Vera Bradley duffel bag out of my closet.

"You're going to take _that_ camping?" Ryan asked me, holding in a laugh.

"Yeah, it's my favorite," I responded, totally serious.

"It's going to get dirty, Care. You'll get mad, I'm sure."

I shot him a look. "But I want to bring it!" I whined.

"Fine, whatever," Ryan said, annoyed. "Just don't cry to me when your pretty little bag gets ruined."

I bit my lip, holding in what I wanted to say. We were having an off day; Ryan was constantly getting annoyed with me and I was constantly getting mad at him. I was trying to pack for the camping trip he wanted to go on. I had never been camping before, and I wasn't looking forward to it so far. Ryan wanted to go so bad, so I was going for him. He had arranged everything, from the campsite to the people going. At first, I had only wanted the two of us to go, but then Ryan convinced me that it would be more fun with a few more people. He invited his older brother Patrick and his girlfriend Kiara, his cousin Logan, his friend Landon, and he let me invite Tasha and Payton. So now it was the day before we were scheduled to leave, and Ryan was helping me pack.

"You're going to want to bring some athletic shorts and tee shirts," he added quietly as he grabbed a Cosmo from under my bed. I had been looking through my dresses at which ones I wanted to bring.

I stared at him. "Do you want to just come over here and make my outfits for me?"

He thumbed through the pages. "Nope, just telling you. You're the one who asked me for help."

I rolled my eyes and turned back to my closet. I grabbed three pairs of Soffe shorts – black, white, and red – and threw them at Ryan. "Are these okay?" I snapped.

He threw the magazine on the floor and sat up. "Yeah, Caroline, they're great."

A few seconds passed and then I heard Ryan get up off the bed. I heard his footsteps and I thought he was leaving so I turned around. Ryan was standing inches away from my face. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me toward him in an intense kiss. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist and he placed his other hand under my butt in order to carry me. I leaned into him and he started to step backward towards the bed. He fell backwards and hit the bed too hard and ended up biting my tongue.

"Ow!" I said, breaking away from him.

He looked alarmed. "I'm so sorry!"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Am I bleeding?"

He started laughing. "Yeah, really bad."

I punched him in the arm. "It's not funny! I hate blood! And it tastes bad!"

Ryan laughed even harder.

"Ryan!"

He laughed and ran out of the room. I walked over to my mirror and inspected the damage. The cut was about a half-centimeter long and was bleeding _bad_. The taste of blood was disgusting, and I walked into my bathroom to spit it out. I heard Ryan coming back down the stairs.

"Care?"

"I'm in the bathroom," I said, completely indecipherably. My tongue was still out of my mouth.

He walked in a minute later with a bottle of water and a confused look on his face. "There you are."

I slid my tongue back in my mouth and said, "I told you I was in here."

He smiled. "I couldn't understand you."

I giggled. "Fix it." I stuck out my tongue again.

Ryan winced. "God, that's really bad," he said as he opened the water. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine. Just make it stop bleeding, it's icky!"

He laughed again and handed me the water. I took a long drink and swished it around in my mouth.

"It still tastes like blood," I said, disappointed.

"Let me see it again," Ryan responded, and I obeyed him. He took my chin and looked at my tongue once more. He moved in really close to my face and took his own tongue and started kissing me again. I closed my eyes and let his tongue explore my mouth. He pulled away and laughed. "That's really gross. Now I have the taste of blood in _my_ mouth." He took a swig of water and I walked out of the bathroom.

Ryan flicked off the light and caught up to me, pinching my butt. I made a surprised noise and he laughed. "Let's finish packing," I said.


	16. We're Going Camping

The next morning, I woke up to someone jumping on top of me. "We're going camping, we're going camping!" Ryan sang as I rolled over.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, getting used to the light in my room. "Did you open my curtains?"

Ryan was in a good mood. He continued bouncing as he answered me. "It's 8:30 on this beautiful Friday morning!" I closed my eyes again, moaning. He opened one of my eyes with his thumb. "I wanted to wake you up, so I opened up your curtains, but then you didn't wake up, so I jumped on you!"

"Ughh, why are you here? How many RedBulls have you had?"

He giggled. "I want to go camping! I'm working on my fourth!"

I rolled over and dug my face into my pillow. "You suck."

Ryan started kissing my neck. It tickled, so I scrunched up my shoulders and he turned me around. "Let's go! Get up! Get up!"

I sat up slowly and stretched. "I want to shower."

"Okay, but hurry! Everyone's meeting at my house in an hour."

"Aren't you going to wait for me?" I asked him, putting on my puppy dog eyes.

He looked at me with a slight smile on his face. "Sure."

I picked out the clothes I wanted to wear that day as quickly as I could. As I found each article of clothing, I threw it at Ryan. I found a pair of jean shorts, then a lime green top. I threw a bra at him and he raised his eyebrows at me, then I held up two pairs of underwear, a thong and lacy bikini-cut underwear. Ryan bit his lip as though he was really thinking hard. He finally made up his mind, made an "ah ha!" sound, and grabbed the thong with his teeth.

"Ryan!" I giggled as I put the other underwear away. I took my clothes out of his arms and teeth and took them into the bathroom. Seconds later I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I opened it and Ryan kissed me quickly and shut the door again. I laughed as I turned on the water. I started undressing myself and I heard another knock on the door. I stuck my head out and I saw Ryan once again.

"I want to take a shower too," he said as he tried to make my puppy dog eyes.

"Well, I'll take a quick one so you can get in after me."

He sighed. "Okay."

"Or, we could save some water and shower together." I winked at him.

"Well, because of the whole 'global warming' thing going on, I'd say the _solid_ choice would be showering together." Ryan had a devilish smile on his face. He had already begun taking his shirt off.

I took his hand and pulled him into the bathroom. I was only wearing a tank top and underwear, and Ryan was pulling off his shorts. I started kissing him and he kissed me back. The water was hot now, and Ryan yanked off my tank top and underwear. I slipped his boxers off and we backed up into the shower. We were still kissing when I realized that we were running out of time.

I smiled and pulled away from him. I tilted my head back into the water and reached for the shampoo. Ryan sighed and held his hand out for the shampoo. We washed in silence for a bit, and when it was time for soap, he said, "Let me."

I got really close to Ryan, and he squirted shower gel down my back. I winced because of the cold, but his big, warm hands made me feel better. He soaped up my whole back and stopped for a second. Ryan's hands skimmed my back until he found my tickle spot. I laughed and my whole body shook. Ryan grew on my stomach. I glanced down and looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back and bent down to kiss me.


	17. You Ready?

A half hour later, Ryan was packing my duffel bag and sleeping bag onto the bed of his truck. Two coolers, another duffel bag, a mini grill, a clear bag with tons of food inside of it, and four tents were also packed. I saw a few sleeping bags wedged between the coolers and the side of the truck, too.

"Patrick's driving everyone else," Ryan told me. "He has a Suburban." I nodded. "I'm taking all the tents and food and other shit."

"So you're sure we have everything?" I was nervous.

"Yeah. We have a ton of flashlights and food." He looked down at me and grabbed my chin. "Don't worry, everything's set." He gave me a peck on the lips.

I gulped. "Alright. I'm going to go say goodbye to my parents."

I ran inside and found my parents in the kitchen.

"We're leaving now."

My mom walked over to me. "Alright. I love you, call me if you need anything, okay? Have fun and be safe." She also mumbled "and smart" under her breath, probably thinking I wouldn't hear her.

I brushed it off. "Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, Care. Have a good time."

"I will. Love you." I gave each of them a kiss on the cheek and went back outside. Ryan had grabbed my bag and pillow and set it on my seat.

"Let's go, Care. We're going to be late."

"Okay, I'm coming," I answered, walking quicker. I jumped in the car and buckled my seat belt.

Ryan looked at me. "You ready?"

I smiled nervously. "Yeah." Ryan grabbed my hand and drove off.

After we met up with Patrick, Kiara, Logan, Landon, Payton, and Tasha, we started driving north. Patrick was leading us, as he had already been to the campsite and we hadn't. Tasha had immediately been attracted to Logan, and had no problem driving with him. Payton had also gotten comfortable with Landon, who she had met once or twice before.

Two hours into the trip, I suddenly had to pee _really_ badly.

"Ryan, I have to pee."

He laughed. "Can you hold it for another hour or so?" He looked at me.

My eyes widened. "No, I seriously am about to pee my pants."

He laughed again. "Ah. Alright. Take my phone out of my pocket and call Patrick. He might not want to exit."

I reached into his pocket for his BlackJack, but I couldn't find it. "It's not in there."

"Check the other one," he told me.

I leaned over and tried to reach his other pocket. My fingers searched for his phone, and finally my hand closed around its smooth surface. "Found it," I said. Just as I pulled the phone out of Ryan's pocket, we drove over a bump and I dropped it. "Shit."

"What?"

"I dropped it."

Ryan glanced at his feet and spotted the phone. "It's next to my left foot." Just as I was bending down to reach for Ryan's phone, we drove next to Patrick's truck. The side of my face was sitting in Ryan's lap, and Ryan kept looking down at me. "Have you found it yet?" He asked me.

"I can't reach it!"

I was still stretching for Ryan's phone when I heard Patrick honk his horn. It didn't take me long to realize he was honking at us. They thought I was sucking on Ryan. I finally reached the phone and I immediately called Patrick.

"Hey Patrick, it's Caroline."

"Hey, Caroline. You two having fun over there?"

I looked over at his car and everyone was laughing. "Funny. I dropped Ryan's phone and I couldn't reach it! I was _not_ giving him head."

He laughed again. "Sure you weren't. What's up?"

"I really have to pee. Can we stop?"

He thought for a minute. "Can you wait five minutes? Our exit's coming up."

I was relieved. "_Yes_, thank you."

"Bye, Caroline. You two be good now."

"Shut up." I hung up the phone. "He said our exit's coming up in like five minutes."

Ryan looked at me. "You can hold it for that long, right?"

I shot him a look. "No, actually I think I'm just going to let it all out all over your seat and my stuff."

"Well, then, you get to clean it up."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know."

Ryan slowed down a bit and let Patrick get in front of him. Our exit came up quickly and we got off the highway. Patrick and Ryan pulled into the nearest gas station and I sprinted out of the car before Ryan fully braked. I went inside and peed for two minutes straight. When I got out of the bathroom, Ryan was looking through snack foods.

"Are you hungry or thirsty or anything?" he asked me, still looking at the food.

"I _could_ use a water or something…" I smiled and batted my eyelashes at him.

"Go ahead, get what you want. I'll get it for you. But you'll owe me." He smiled and looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Thanks," I said as I got up on my toes and kissed his cheek. I walked over to the refrigerators and picked out a Calypso strawberry lemonade. Ryan was waiting for me at the register and I handed him my drink.

"This is all you want?" he asked me, eyeing the juice.

"Yep," I said, smiling.

"Alright…" Ryan said, not completely believing me. He bought himself a bag of chips and a Monster. He gave the cashier the money, received his change, and grabbed my hand.

We got to the car and Patrick shouted out his window. "You guys ready to leave?"

"Yeah," Ryan yelled back. And we were off. Ryan opened his Monster and took a sip.

"You really don't need any more energy drinks, Ry," I told him, staring at his drink.

"But I'm sleepy," he said as he looked at me.

I couldn't help but laugh. He looked like a little kid. "Then you shouldn't have had four RedBulls this morning."

He didn't respond, he just grabbed my hand.

"Is it okay if I fall asleep?" My eyelids were getting heavy.

"Sure," he said, smiling at me.

I laid my pillow down in the middle seat and scrunched up into a ball. Ryan put his hand on my head and started playing with my hair. I fell asleep in no time.


	18. One, Two, Three!

"Care, we're here." I heard Ryan's voice. "Caroline." Ryan kissed me. My eyes opened. It was still light out.

"What time is it?" I was still groggy.

"About 2:30."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We all wanted to set up camp and then go swimming. Do you want to come with us or do you want to sleep?" Ryan asked me.

I sat up. "I'll go."

Ryan smiled. "That a girl." He walked to the back of the truck to start unloading.

I rolled my eyes and opened the visor mirror. I fixed my hair and my makeup, and then jumped out of the truck to help Ryan.

We had set up a screened-in tent for our food, a small one for me and Ryan, another small one for Patrick and Kiara, and a large four-person tent for Landon, Logan, Tasha, and Payton. Everyone had set up their sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets. There was a small building with three showers and three bathrooms that was close to our campsite. Even though it was a popular time for people to go camping, there were no other campers on the grounds.

When everyone had changed into their bathing suits, we headed down to the lake. There was a pier and not much else. Logan was the first one to jump in.

"Shit! This is freezing!" he shouted, laughing. Logan was, in one word, hot. He had short brown hair, deep, tan skin, and dark blue eyes. He was tall, about six foot, not quite as tall as Ryan. He was very muscular, and you could tell that he played football.

Tasha giggled, then walked to the end of the pier and sat down. She dipped her feet in the water and shivered. Payton, Kiara, and I sat down next to her. I heard laughter behind me and I looked back at Patrick and Ryan. They immediately stopped. I rolled my eyes and turned around. All of a sudden I felt someone grab under my arms and lift me up, and then I saw Patrick grab my ankles.

"One, two, three!" they shouted as they threw me into the lake. I screamed and held my breath. The water was very cold. I got goosebumps instantly.

"You guys suck!" I yelled. Patrick and Ryan just laughed. They looked almost identical, except for Patrick was a little taller and had less muscle. Patrick had shorter, straighter hair as well, and was three years older. Ryan cannonballed right next to me and tackled me in the water. "Ryan! I'm so cold now!"

He laughed some more and kissed me. "Do you want to get out?" he asked me, suddenly serious.

I was shivering. "Mhm," I whimpered, my puppy dog eyes already out.

Ryan swam closer to me. "Okay." He held onto me and started toward the pier, but abruptly stopped moving and dunked me under.

I came up, gasping for air, and splashed him.

"Hey!" Ryan said, chuckling.

"You dunked me, jerk!" I laughed.

I heard a scream and saw Patrick lift Kiara and jump in with her. He jumped really close to the pier and got Payton and Tasha soaking wet, which made them scream as well.

Payton said, "Hey, where's –" and just as she was about to say his name, Landon ran up from behind her and pushed both Payton and Tasha in. "Landon!"


	19. Come and Get It

After we swam for a while, the four guys went up to the tents to start the grill. It was about four o'clock, and the sun was still hot, so Kiara, Tasha, Payton, and I laid out on the pier. About an hour later, we all got bored. We gathered our towels and shoes and walked back up to the campsite.

"It's about time you girls showed up," Logan said as he poked at the coals on the grill. He and Tasha must have already stated their attraction towards each other, as she walked over to him and pecked him on the cheek.

I looked around for Ryan and didn't see him. "Where's Ryan?" I asked Patrick.

Patrick nodded toward our tent. "In there," he answered.

I walked toward the tent and unzipped it a little. "Ryan?"

"Yeah," he grunted.

"I'm coming in," I said as I finished unzipping the doorway.

Ryan was lying down, almost asleep. I zipped up the tent and gently lay down on top of him. He opened his eyes. "Hey, you."

"Hey. Still sleepy?" I rested my chin on Ryan's chest.

He closed his eyes again. "Mhm," he breathed.

I rolled off of Ryan and ran my fingers through his thick curls. I stared at him for a few seconds and then decided to change out of my bathing suit. Ryan's eyes were still closed, so I took my brightly colored bottoms off and dug for my underwear. I found them and pulled them on. I untied the back of my top and as I did I heard Ryan clear his throat. I looked up at him and his eyes were both on me. I smiled shyly at him and turned around so that my back was facing him. I searched for my bra but couldn't find it anywhere.

"Looking for something?" Ryan said quietly.

I turned my head. "Where's my bra?" I asked just as quietly.

He held my hot pink bra up. "You mean _this_?" Ryan started swinging it around.

I shot him a look. "Give it to me."

Ryan smiled devilishly. "Come and get it." He raised his eyebrows.

"Ryan, come on! Give it to me!" I said louder.

"Nope. You can have it if you come and get it." Ryan tucked my bra under him.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" He smiled. I grabbed my pillow and pressed it against my chest. I leapt over on top of Ryan.

He laughed. "Ow!"

I poked him where I knew it would tickle, and his whole body squirmed. I reached under him and pulled out my bra. "Ha!" I slid back over to the other side of the tent and slipped my bra back on. I was about to clip the back when I felt Ryan's hands take the pieces of fabric and secure them together.

Ryan turned me around and studied my face. When he leaned in close to me, I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he whispered, "You're so beautiful," into my ear.

I blushed. Ryan backed away from my ear and planted his lips on mine. I placed one of my hands on the back of his head and held his hair, and the other hand found its place on his shirtless back. Ryan put one hand on my face and the other hand behind my neck. He laid me down on my sleeping bag and kissed me harder and more passionately. I was conscious of the fact that I was still just wearing my bra and thong and that any of my friends could open up our tent at any time, but I tried to let the thought slip. I was enjoying kissing Ryan when I heard Logan calling us for dinner.

"We'll be out in a second," Ryan told him.

I heard some snickering outside the tent and sat up. Ryan pulled a tee shirt on and I finished dressing myself in my clothes from earlier that day. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and unzipped the tent.


	20. Beer

We all ate the brats and hamburgers the guys made, and then Patrick and Kiara left to go to the store.

"What exactly are they buying?" Tasha asked as Ryan built a bonfire.

"Beer. Probably cheap beer," Landon responded.

I scrunched up my nose. "I hate beer."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "They're going to get some other stuff, too, Care."

"Okay." Ryan sat next to me and I cuddled up to him. The sun was setting, and the temperature was dropping. "Ry, I'm cold."

He looked at me. "Then go get a sweatshirt. And a blanket. Bring a sweatshirt for me, too. And it's getting buggy out here, so can you get the bug spray too?" I shot him a look. I got up and I saw the bug spray on the picnic table, so I threw it at Ryan. It hit him in the chest and he jumped. "You better watch yourself. You still owe me." He smirked and I rolled my eyes and crawled into our tent.

After I had cuddled up to Ryan again, both of us warm, Patrick and Kiara pulled up. Patrick unloaded a few Styrofoam coolers, some ice, and a bunch of alcohol. Ryan stood up and walked over to help, and the other guys followed suit. Kiara had opened her car door and bolted to the bathroom. When she came back, everyone already had a drink in their hand.

"Sorry, I just had to pee _so_ bad," Kiara said with a huge smile plastered across her face. She ran over to her tent and grabbed a sweatshirt and walked back to the fire.

I shivered and flipped my hood onto my head. Ryan wrapped his arm around me and took a swig of his beer, while I drank my favorite, Mike's Hard Pomegranate Lemonade. We talked for a while about various things and soon everyone had gotten tipsy.

"I'll be right back," I told Ryan as I stood up.

He looked up at me. "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

Ryan stood up and took my hand. "I'll come with you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Okay."

We walked to the bathrooms slowly and when we got there, I peed quickly and washed my hands. I looked at Ryan. "Do you have to go?" I asked him, nodding at the toilet.

He shook his head. "Nope. Just wanted to be with you."

I smiled and slammed Ryan against the wall, kissing him as I pushed. It was sloppier than usual, my aim was off. Ryan kissed me with a hunger. Even though we were both_ very_ drunk, there was still a passion between us. Ryan moved from my lips to my neck. I breathed in his scent as he moved back up. I stuck my hands in his auburn hair and gave him everything I had, then stopped and stumbled back to the bonfire.

Tasha passed out at about four o'clock. Logan and Landon half carried, half dragged her into their tent. Patrick and Kiara had both headed to their tent, and me and Ryan helped Payton into her tent as well. After everyone was zipped inside, Ryan and I waited for the fire to go out, and soon after went to bed. I don't remember changing my clothes at all, but when I woke up, all I wore were my underwear and Ryan's sweatshirt from the night before. Ryan was still sleeping. I didn't hear anyone outside, so I checked the time on my phone – 1:14. I rolled on top of Ryan and kissed him, hard, on the lips. He raised his eyebrows and stretched.

"Fuck," he said, lightly pushing me off him. "My head hurts."

I laughed and sat up. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows again.

"Shit. What did we do last night?"

I looked at myself again. "Your guess is as good as mine."

He almost pulled the blankets off of himself, but then stopped and quickly said, "I know what we did last night."

My eyes got big and I panicked. "Shit!" I whispered, "Do you see a condom anywhere?"

Disgusted, Ryan lifted his used condom from under the blankets. "Yeah. I told you I know what we did."

"Oh, God," I sighed, relieved. "Make sure you throw it out."

"Ew."

"And don't let anyone see it."

"Ew."

"Just go!" I told him, pointing out of the tent.

Ryan sat up and reached for his boxers, which had magically been thrown in my direction. He slipped them on and looked around for his sweatpants. He was digging everywhere, a confused look on his face. Then he looked at me for a second, lifted me up on his shoulder, found his pants under me, and laid me back down. I laughed and he grabbed the nasty condom.

"Hide it!" I told him.

"In what?" Ryan asked me.

"A Kleenex or something."

Ryan grabbed a Kleenex from the box and wrapped it around the condom. Then he headed outside to throw it away. "What the shit?" I heard him scream. I poked my head out curiously to see what happened. Patrick must have jumped out at him, because he was laughing at his younger brother, who was now on the ground. "Pat! Why the fuck did you do that?" Patrick was still laughing. Ryan stood up and brushed himself up. I started laughing at how angry Ryan was. Ryan glanced back at me and looked pissed.

Patrick also saw me and laughed harder. "Even your girlfriend is laughing at you! Oh, man, that was so perfect."

He stomped over to the garbage can and threw away the Kleenex. He glared at me as he walked back to the tent. I pulled my head back inside and Ryan angrily joined me. "Why are you so upset by that?" I asked him as he lay back down. Ryan didn't answer me, so I quickly pulled my bathing suit on and left.


	21. A Fight

The hours passed and Ryan slept. I knew he had a wicked hangover, but I was sure it wasn't so bad that he would be acting like that. Finally, at seven o'clock, when everyone else was down by the lake, I got tired of his attitude and went into the tent. Ryan wasn't even sleeping, he was just laying there staring at the ceiling of the tent. "Get up," I told him.

He turned his head and glared at me. "No."

That pissed me off. "Get _up_," I told him again.

"_No_."

I glared back at him. We stared at each other for a few seconds. "What the fuck is your problem, Ryan?"

He rolled over, ignoring me. I pulled on his shoulder, hard, making him turn towards me again. "God, Caroline, dammit."

"Answer me."

"Nothing, alright?" Did he seriously think I'd be okay with his answer?

"Bullshit. What's wrong with you?"

"Fucking _Patrick_ is what's wrong with me," he mumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know when Patrick jumped out at me before?" I nodded. "You know what he said to me?"

"Well obviously not."

"He said, 'I hope you and Caroline had a good time last night, sounded like you did.'"

I was dumbstruck. "Are you serious?" Ryan nodded. "That's all?" He stared at me. "Why is that such a big deal?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Caroline, he _heard_ us last night when we were having _sex_. That doesn't piss you off?"

"Should it?" I obviously didn't understand him.

"Is that what being a whore does to you?" My jaw dropped. I was speechless. I got up and walked out of the tent. Ryan followed me. "Shit, no, I didn't mean to say that, I know you're different now," he was struggling to find the right words, and stuttering as he tried to say them, "You haven't done anything bad since I've known you, okay? I know that." I kept walking and didn't look back at him. I didn't know where I was headed. "I'm really sorry, Care, really," he jogged a bit to keep up with me, "I'm just not feeling like myself today and Pat pissed me off and I'm just really truly sorry. I love you so much, and I didn't mean to hurt you." I stopped walking. Ryan also stopped. I looked at him and slapped his cheek and ran. I didn't hear him behind me.

I slowed down after a while, mostly because I was tired of running, and also because I'd ran right to the road. I didn't know what to do because I knew that if I went back to our campsite, I'd have to face Ryan and I didn't want to do that. But where else would I go? We were in the middle of nowhere; the nearest town was a half hour away if we _drove_. A few minutes later, I had stopped fighting with myself and decided that it would be best for me to go back to the campsite. When I got there, Ryan was sitting at the picnic table, obviously waiting for me to return. He saw me walk up and ran over to me.

"There you are, I thought you'd nev–" I held up my hand, interrupting him.

Then, all I said was, "You're not sleeping in the tent tonight, asshole," and walked back down to the lake.


	22. I'm So Sorry

When I walked onto the pier, everyone could tell that I was pissed. The guys all looked uncomfortable when I sat down, so they each made their excuses and left.

"What's going on, Care?" Tasha asked me. She looked worried.

"Me and Ryan got into a fight, it's nothing." Tasha looked at me sympathetically and moved closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder.

"What did he say?"

"He called me a whore." Tasha's facial expression went from sympathetic to pissed off in 0.2 seconds.

"He _what_?"

"I went up there because he's been weird all day and I asked him what was wrong and he said Patrick heard us having sex last night," I noticed Kiara looked embarrassed, "and I told him it was no big deal, and then he's like, 'is that what being a whore does to you?' and I was just, like, amazed that he would say something like that to me." I hadn't noticed that I'd begun crying.

Tasha stood up. "That asshole, I'm going to go up there and –"

"Tasha, no. I took care of it. Please don't."

She looked at me, then up towards the trail that led up to the campsite. She sat back down. "You're sure?"

I nodded.

Payton spoke up. "Do you want to sleep in our tent tonight, Care?"

"I don't think so. I told him he's not sleeping in the tent."

"Okay. If you change your mind, we can always make room for you. It's a big tent."

"Thanks, Pay. I think I'll be alright, though."

The four of us talked for a few hours, and when it got really buggy, we headed up to our site. There was already a bonfire and it looked like Ryan had been drinking since I left him up there. Patrick, Logan, and Landon each had a beer. I didn't feel like drinking, so I grabbed a water out of one of the coolers and sat down next to Kiara. It wasn't as cold out as it was the night before. As Kiara and I were sitting around the fire talking, I noticed that Ryan wouldn't take his eyes off me. Even though I had only been awake for eleven hours that day, I was tired at midnight. I said my goodnights and walked over to my tent. I was almost inside when I felt someone grab my leg. I looked back, not surprised that it was Ryan.

"Caroline, please listen to me," he slurred. "I'm so so so sorry! Really, I am. I love you."

I pulled his hand off my calf and said, "Ryan, go away, seriously. I don't want to talk to you right now. Plus, you're really drunk and I can't understand what you're saying."

"Well, you're drunk too, Care."

I raised my eyebrows. "Am I? Ryan, I drank water all night. Get away from me." And with that, I pulled the rest of my body inside the tent and zipped it shut. I heard Ryan fumbling with the zipper, but he was too drunk to clasp it. After several minutes of failed attempts, Ryan passed out right outside my tent. As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about the only guy I have ever loved. Yes, he hurt me, but for some reason, I was no longer angry. All he had done was call me a whore, while my other boyfriends had all done the unthinkable.


	23. A Day On the Lake

Ryan had somehow made it back into the tent and had his arms wrapped around my waist, as though in my sleep, I would run away from him. He still smelled strongly of alcohol, and I struggled to sit up.

"Ryan." He stirred, but stayed asleep. I pushed him away from me a bit, and finally his eyes opened. "What are you doing in here?"

He took a deep breath and stretched. Then he looked around, confused. "I don't know." Ryan looked at me and his expression changed into guilt. "Care, I'm so sorry." He grabbed the back of my neck and before I could pull away, he gently touched his lips to mine in one of those delicious I'm-so-sorry-please-forgive-me kind of kisses. He let go of me, and I didn't want to stop. I leaned my forehead against his and closed my eyes.

"I love you, Ryan, but seriously? You had absolutely no right to be pissy at me yesterday."

He sat up straight and kissed my forehead. "I know."

We sat there for a while, embracing each other, when all of a sudden I realized we were leaving in two days. "What are we going to do today?" I asked him, tracing the outlines of his muscles with my finger.

"We could go into town and rent a couple of jet skis."

I looked at him and smiled. He knew jet skiing was my favorite.

We rented three jet skis and a small speed boat and took them out on the huge lake. Ryan drove me around for a while, going over waves and speeding around. Then, because I had never driven one before, he taught me how to drive. The first attempt failed miserably because I accelerated too quickly and Ryan fell off.

"Holy shit! Caroline!" I was shocked at first, but then I just laughed. He climbed back on and held on to me tightly.

"Ryan, you're getting me all wet!"

He smiled and said, "Your fault."

After a few other minor mishaps, I finally knew what I was doing. Ryan told me to go to the sandbar in the middle of the lake, as that was the meeting spot for the eight of us. Everyone was already there, playing in the water. Kiara and the guys were tossing a Frisbee around, and Tasha and Payton were each laying out on a jet ski.

Ryan laughed when we came closer. "Switch spots with me for a second, okay?"

I knew what he was about to do, and I laughed and managed to switch spots without falling off. He drove up really close to my two best friends and quietly turned the jet ski around. Suddenly, Ryan accelerated and showers of lake water sprayed Tasha and Payton. Everyone laughed but Payton and Tasha, who both screamed.

"Ryan! What the fuck?!" Tasha shouted.

Ryan parked the jet ski and helped me get down. I took my life jacket off and placed it on the seat, then headed over to the guys to play with the Frisbee.


	24. Take My Breath Away

After a long day of being out on the lake, my body was tired and my skin was a deep bronze color. Ryan had also gotten some sun, but because he has the whitest skin in the world, the color his skin turned was more reddish than brownish. When everybody was heading to bed around eleven thirty that night, Ryan asked me to go for a walk. We walked around the entire campgrounds, and after a half hour, we were sitting on the edge of the pier, Ryan's feet and ankles completely submerged in the water, my toes just barely underwater. There was a full moon and the night sky was sprinkled with billions and billions of stars. The moon lit up the lake and its reflection shimmered on the water. I couldn't take my eyes off the sky.

"You're so beautiful, Caroline," I heard Ryan tell me as I was looking up at the Big Dipper.

I looked at him. "Have I ever told you that I love every single little freckle on your face?" For emphasis, I poked at his nose.

"Have I ever told you that I love the way your laugh sounds and how I can't stand seeing other guys looking at you?" I could feel my cheeks turning red.

"I can't stand seeing other girls hang all over you, either."

"I love you."

I knew I felt a kiss coming on, but that feeling was nothing compared to what actually happened. We came together in the most romantic, passionate, perfect kiss I had ever experienced. It was slow and fast, it was soft and intense, it was totally out of control and perfectly tame. I never believed that anyone could actually take my breath away, but at that moment, I couldn't breathe. I also never believed that I, Caroline Addams, would ever fall in love with anyone. But here I was, in love with a guy who annoyed me to death but for some reason I couldn't get enough of him.


	25. Please Trust Me

The next day went by quickly. When our last day came up and I was packing my things, I realized that my Vera Bradley bag had most definitely been ruined, probably by Ryan in his drunk state, and I was instantly mad at him.

"It's all your fault!" I yelled at him.

"God, Caroline, I told you not to use that fucking bag! I _told_ you it would get ruined and that you would get pissed at me! I knew it!" he screamed back.

"No, I have every right in the world to be pissed at you because you're the one who _ruined_ it!"

"You know what? _Fine_. I admit that I was the one who ruined your bag. But I was piss drunk because of you!"

"Because of _me_? _God_, you are so annoying! You called me a fucking _whore_ so I got mad at you! You didn't _have_ to decide to drink until you couldn't stand up! GOD!" I shouted as I chucked one of his shoes at him. A few tears rushed down my cheeks.

Ryan tried to duck, but ducking just caused him to get hit in the head. "Goddammit, Caroline! I'm sick of this!" I didn't answer, but I chucked the other shoe at him, this time hitting his shoulder. "STOP THROWING SHOES AT ME!" Ryan said as he rubbed his head. I really hit him hard.

There was a silent moment as I shoved more clothes into my muddy bag. Then I felt Ryan's lips on the back of my neck. "Stop it," I told him, shrugging my shoulders. He didn't stop, he just moved closer and closer to my face. I was still crying; I really wasn't in the mood for this. I whipped my head around. "Ryan, stop." He stopped. He turned me around and wiped away my tears. Then he held me close in a warm hug.

We finished packing up the tents around noon. Landon and Ryan packed up the trucks while me and Tasha cleaned up all the empty beer cans. Everyone else was either taking a shower or waiting to take a shower.

"Ew," Tasha said as she dropped a can into the large trash bag. "That one was really sticky."

I laughed half-heartedly.

"Hey," she said, standing up straight. "How do you put up with it?"

I was confused. "What are you talking about? Put up with what?"

She rolled her eyes and nodded in Ryan's direction. "The fighting. How do you take it?"

I thought for a second. "I love him."

"Hm," was all she said. We cleaned up some more cans. "How can you love someone when you fight all the time? Isn't love supposed to be perfect?"

I stopped cleaning again. "No." Tasha looked surprised. "Nothing is perfect." Then I added, "Those fights mean nothing. They're just there to test us. Yeah, they're upsetting, but if everything was perfect in our relationship, I'd get bored. In a way, I think I need to fight with him a little. Like what we were just fighting about. When I was packing for this trip, Ryan told me not to bring the bag I wanted to bring. He said that I'd get mad when it got ruined. And I did. He got it dirty, so I got mad. He knows me. And he had to prove it somehow, even if he wasn't trying."

Tasha nodded in understanding and we finished cleaning in silence. Soon, everyone was back from showering and we were ready to leave.

"When we get into town, I need gas. We can get food and whatever else we want from the gas station," Ryan told Patrick.

"Alright," Patrick agreed.

Everyone got into the car they came in and we headed out. The truck was quiet for the first ten minutes of the trip. Ryan's face was tense; I could see the muscle in his jaw. It looked like it was about to burst. I gazed at Ryan's forehead at the bump that I knew was underneath his hair. "I'm sorry I threw your shoes at you," I said quietly. Ryan looked over at me and then back at the road. I felt his hand slowly close over my own. "And for yelling at you about my bag. You knew it was going to happen."

Ryan sighed, and I thought that was all he was going to do. But then he surprised me. "Do you trust me?"

I answered him right away, "Of course."

He sighed again. "It doesn't seem like it."

I was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember that night I first took you to my grandma's house? And since then it's been little things, like with your bag. I told you that this was going to happen. Do you trust me?" he asked me again, glancing over at me.

I thought about it and realized he was right. Then I came to another realization. "I don't really trust anyone, Ry." I thought back to every boyfriend I've had since Luke, and with every single one, I was the reason those relationships ended. Because I couldn't trust them, they cheated and lied and abused. "Not since Luke," I added quietly.

Ryan squeezed my hand when he heard the name of the guy who raped me. "Please trust me," he said. And I swear I saw tears in his eyes.


	26. Luke

Our hands didn't part for a long time after that. The ride home was about an hour and a half shorter than the ride there; there was absolutely no traffic. I realized that my phone had been completely silent the whole time I was camping, which was weird. None of my friends had called or texted me. I was totally surprised that my brother hadn't called or texted me either. But when we got closer to civilization, my phone vibrated and rang like crazy, all at once. I had five text messages in my inbox and three voicemails. I guess I didn't have service the whole time.

From: Trav

CARE call me when you get this

From: Kasey

caroline where r u? lets hang out

From: Mommy =]

Hey Care Bear how's camping?

From: Alex

im having another party soon u shud come ok?

From: Unknown Number

hey caroline its luke im in wisconsin and i wanted 2 c u

Wait what? Luke? How'd he know I was in Wisconsin? I texted him back saying, "I think you have the wrong number." I was scared, though. I wanted to show Ryan at that moment, but I didn't want him to see it while he was driving. I called Travis after I sent the message. He picked up after the fourth ring.

"Hello?" I thought I heard a girl in the background.

"Hey, Trav, it's Caroline."

"Caroline! Hey! How was your trip? Are you home yet?"

"It was good. No, we're still on the road. Did you need to tell me something?" The line was silent for a few seconds, and I thought I'd lost the connection. "Hello?"

"I'm still here, Care," Travis sighed.

"What's wrong? What did you need to tell me?"

"Caroline, I think it's best that I tell you at home, okay? I'll see you in a couple hours?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye." Travis hung up without saying goodbye, like always.

"What did he say?" I jumped when Ryan spoke. "Whoa, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." When I first said this, Ryan looked hurt. "He wouldn't tell me. He said he'll tell me when we get home."

"Are you okay?" I thought to tell him about the text message. I decided to tell the truth. "I don't know."

Ryan glanced at me again.

"I just got a message from a number I didn't know. I opened it, and it was from Luke. He's in Wisconsin. I don't know how he found out I lived here." I expected Ryan to look worried, but instead he looked mad. No, more than that. Furious. I was scared to tell him any more. "He wants to see me." The last thing I said put him over the edge.

"_What_? Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Ryan's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.

"Ryan, calm down, it's alright."

"Caroline, this guy is in Wisconsin because of you. He wants to find you. He might want to hurt you again. That's a big deal." If we were in a cartoon, there would be steam billowing out of his nose and ears.

"I'm not going to let him find me, Ryan. I won't let it happen. He's not a part of my life anymore."

"Yeah, but he wants to be. Damn."

I didn't bother responding to the other three messages, nor did I feel like listening to my voicemail. Another hour passed in angry silence. Ryan's fingers were still tight around the steering wheel, and I'm sure he was thinking up ways to kill Luke. All I thought about for that hour was how Luke got my number again and how he found out where I lived. Ryan scared me when he said that all Luke wanted was to find me and possibly hurt me, and I knew that that was totally probable.


	27. NO!

Ryan shook me awake. "Care, we're home."

I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep. We were at my house, and the first things I saw were Grace's car, the empty spot where Travis usually parked, and a car that I recognized in an instant.

My stomach was suddenly in knots. "No."

"What's wrong, Caroline?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" I was starting to panic.

Ryan was scared. "Caroline, tell me what's wrong!"

I couldn't speak anymore. All I could do was point a shaky finger at Luke's car.

"Shit. Who's car is it, Caroline?"

I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry, I couldn't breathe. How can he hurt me when it's not even him that's hurting me?

Ryan finally figured out. "That _fucker_. Is it Luke?"

I felt like I needed to throw up, but nothing was working. Ryan held me tightly in his arms, turning my head away from the car that belonged to the one person I was truly afraid of. Ryan called my house, hoping one of my parents would pick up the phone and explain.

"Hello?" Ryan sighed, relieved.

"Hey, Mrs. Addams, it's Ryan."

"Ryan! When are you guys going to be home?"

"Well, actually, we're outside your house right now, but there's a slight problem. Could you and Mr. Addams come outside please?" Ryan's voice sounded urgent.

"Well, we have company right now, but I guess I could sneak out without Jeff."

"Alright, thank you," Ryan said before he hung up. He held onto me still, rubbing my back with his warm, strong hands that would never hurt me, _that_ I knew for sure. I finally started to cry.

I heard my mother walking outside, then running as she saw me. "Caroline! What's the matter, baby?"

I could finally make a sound, although I was struggling through my sobs and trembling. "H-h-how c-could…"

"How could what?" My mom was also starting to panic.

"…you let Luke in?" I finally finished.

She made a confused face. "What's wrong with having Luke here? He said you invited him up from West Virginia." She didn't understand it. I didn't expect her to, of course, because I made Travis swear he wouldn't tell anyone else what had happened. "I was surprised to see him, but I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm so glad you two are friends again. I remember your break up." During this explanation, I started sobbing all over again. I was so scared for myself, my family, and my boyfriend. Mom pulled her hand gently through my hair. "Care Bear, what's wrong? Why are you crying like that?"

Ryan explained, because my mother obviously didn't get it. He had Mom sit down and told her everything. He told her about the rape, the text, my brother's text and phone call. All my mom did was cry and pull me in safely to her chest, close to her heart.

I heard the familiar sound of my brother's car racing down our street. He slammed on the brakes and ran up to the truck. He was crying too. "Caroline, I should have told them, I should have called the police that night, I should have told them." I sat up and my brother hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Ryan picked up his phone. "Should I call the police?"

"They can't arrest him. He didn't do anything wrong," Travis said, furious.

"Travis, he raped her! That's wrong in my book!" Ryan was still angry.

"That was over a year ago, man, they can't arrest him! They can't prove it!"

"We've got to go inside and take care of this piece of shit," Ryan said, already walking towards the house. "Caroline and Mrs. Addams, stay here. But lay down. Don't let him see you when he gets out of here." Then he and Travis went inside.

We obeyed. We waited five minutes, then ten. After fifteen, we got worried. After twenty five, I heard our door open. I got scared all over again. "Get out of here, Luke! Leave her alone; she doesn't want you," Travis was screaming. I heard running feet. I clamped my eyes shut. My mom held me tighter.

Then I heard a gunshot. "If you come back, you're dead!" I heard my dad scream. _Of course_, I thought, _he has a shot gun hidden in the house_.

Then I heard yelling from a new voice: Luke. I couldn't understand what he was saying; someone must have punched him so that it wasn't easy to speak. A car engine started, and I felt relief that Luke was gone. Once he had driven off, I got out of the truck and ran to my dad.


	28. The Storm

My parents let me sleep over at Ryan's for the next couple of nights. All I wanted to do was go back home, but there was a part of me that never wanted to go back to a place where Luke could get to me. Soon enough, though, it was Labor Day weekend: the last weekend of the summer. Ryan's family was heading up north, but Ryan asked if he could stay back to be with me. Every night in August, I went to bed with the fear that I might never wake up or that I might wake up somewhere with Luke. But after Ryan kissed me goodnight and wrapped his strong arms around me, I was comfortable and no longer afraid. Ryan often asked me if I wanted to know about what happened inside the house while I was hidden in the truck. I always had the same answer, and soon he stopped asking.

When school started, the memory tucked itself into the smallest corner of my mind and I almost completely forgot about it. School is school, always uneventful and boring. I didn't have any classes with Ryan, just lunch. I got the typical once-overs from random guys in the hallways and in my classes, but I no longer paid those guys any attention. I was still madly in love with Ryan, but I felt like I shouldn't show it as much at school. I had always hated PDA; the only things I didn't get annoyed at were hugs and hand-holding. Every once in a while, I'd give Ryan a quick kiss, but never would I dare to shove my tongue down his throat when other people were watching.

One night, when Ryan and I were sitting at his grandma's house watching TV, a sudden thunderstorm popped up out of the blue. I've always loved thunderstorms, and I looked out the window to watch. It started pouring outside, and I was watching the wind tilt the rain water so it seemed the rain was coming in horizontally. The thunder was louder up in his attic room, and every time there was lightning, I waited patiently for the thunder to shake the house. The sky was pitch black, and when the next lightning bolt appeared, the power went out. I was instantly afraid.

"Ryan?" I said into the dark, frightened.

"I'm right here, Care, hang on." I heard him walking towards me and I felt his hands hold mine. "You alright? He asked me. Then, more lightning. In the flash of light, I saw Ryan smiling his big, perfect, grin.

"Yeah, just don't let go." My voice quivered.

"I won't," Ryan said sweetly. "We have to find a flashlight. I think I have one up here." One of his hands let go of mine, and the other one held on tighter. Ryan walked along the wall in his old room, carefully pulling me with him. He dug around a bit when he found his nightstand, and said, "Let there be light," as he flicked it on.

I giggled for a second and then Ryan suggested we go downstairs in the living room. "Why can't we stay up here?" I asked.

"There are candles and a fireplace downstairs, which means light. Unless you would like to stay up here in the dark…" Ryan's voice faded. When I didn't answer him, he opened the door and started down the stairs.

I looked around the living room a bit, admiring the candlelight. Ryan was attempting to make a fire in the fireplace without much luck. "Let me do it, Ry," I told him as I walked towards him.

"I can do it," Ryan shot back without much confidence.

"Sure you can, but I'm faster."

Reluctantly, Ryan backed away and handed me the lighter. I crumpled up some newspapers and threw them under the grate, then added a small starter stick on top of the wood. I lit the stick and a few pieces of newspaper on fire and soon the fire moved on to the logs. Then I looked at Ryan and he stuck his tongue out at me.

I walked over to the couch and sat down. Ryan walked over to me and leaned over a bit. I tenderly rested my lips on his. He responded by pushing back. I reached up and put both hands on Ryan's face. I gently pulled him down onto my body and continued kissing him. I was so lost in his kisses that I didn't realize he had already taken my shirt and tank top off. I carefully removed Ryan's shirt, then his undershirt and he slid my jeans down to my ankles, where I was able to kick them off. I began kissing Ryan's neck as I loosened his belt and jeans. I was now on my back on the couch with Ryan still on top of me. I could once again feel him growing through the thin fabric of his boxers. We hadn't done this in such a long time that I was craving the way he felt inside of me. Ryan unclipped my bra and carefully placed a hand on one of my breasts. His other hand wandered down and hooked onto my underwear. He pulled them off as fast as he could, and I could tell he was getting impatient. Ryan leaned down to kiss me, reaching into his pocket for a condom. I ripped his boxers off of him and again was amazed by every perfectly shaped muscle, all the way down his body. He slipped the condom on and kissed me harder than before. I felt Ryan's finger on my clitoris, and moaned with pleasure. He took his finger away and entered me. I let him please me for a while, then we rolled over and I pleased him. After we had finished, I fell asleep in the safety of Ryan's arms.


	29. Homecoming Dresses

Our senior homecoming football game and dance came up quickly. Ryan had asked me about three weeks before the dance, so I had time to pick out my dress. One rainy September day, I drove over to Tasha's house to pick her up so that we could go shopping. She had already found a dress on the internet and only needed to pick it up and pay for it at the store, so she had promised to help me find the perfect dress.

We pulled into the mall parking lot and sprinted inside. The first store we entered was Windsor. Tasha and I walked to the back of the store where all the dresses were displayed, and my eyes were immediately drawn to The Dress. It was short and was covered in silver and black sequins.

"Tasha," I called her over from a rack nearby, "I think I found it."

Tasha walked over and looked at the dress. "I love it! It's perfect for you."

I tried it on, and it fit perfectly. "Okay, so this has probably been the fastest shopping trip we've ever taken, so we should have a little fun," I said as I dragged an ugly poufy orange dress to the changing rooms. Tasha grabbed three puke green dresses and we ran into one room. After about an hour of trying on ugly dress after ugly dress, we called it a day and paid for my dress.

"Okay, so now all we have to do is go to Forever 21 to pick up my dress and then we can go," Tasha told me as we walked out of Windsor.

After a quick stop at the smoothie stand, Tasha led me to Forever 21. She stopped at the counter and handed the cashier an online receipt. They talked a bit about the order and the cashier led us to the back. She disappeared for a minute or two and came out with a simple black dress. It was strapless and had an eyelet pattern covering it.

"That is so cute, Tasha!" I gushed over the dress. I really liked it.

"Thanks," she said.


	30. I Have to Tell You Something

"I have to tell you something," Tasha told me as we left the parking lot.

"Okay," I told her, "shoot."

I looked at her and she seemed nervous.

"Tasha, tell me, it's alright."

"Just don't get mad at me, alright? Please don't get mad…" her voice faded. I looked at her, confused.

"What are you talking about? Tell me what's wrong, Tasha."

She started crying. "I can't believe I did this, I'm so sorry, Caroline, I really am. Oh, my God…"

I raised my voice. "Tasha, just tell me."

Her voice was weak. "Up north, when you and Ryan were fighting and we were all drunk, except for you," she began slowly, "I – oh, God, I can't say it."

"Tasha, come on, you need to tell me," I said, my own voice unsteady.

"After you went to bed, I saw that Ryan had passed out by your tent, and so I walked over to him and woke him up so that he wouldn't be outside all night, and so he came back to the fire and drank even more and then everyone except for the two of us went to bed," she paused. My stomach dropped. I knew what was coming. "And then all of a sudden, I wasn't thinking and I leaned over and we started kissing and we were like that until he said 'I love you Caroline,' and I just felt so guilty… I pulled away and helped him into your tent and then went to my tent and cried." She was still crying, and her sobs were the only sound in the car.

I pulled up to her house and put my car in park. I stared at the steering wheel and waited for Tasha to get out. When she didn't, I looked up at her and raised my eyebrows. "I'm so sorry, Caroline," she whispered. When I continued to stare at her without responding, she climbed out of the car. I drove off the second she shut the trunk. I headed toward Ryan's house. It was still raining, and I was speeding. I got there in a few minutes.

I walked into Ryan's house quickly, saying hi to his parents and little sister while on my way to his room. He was in the shower when I sat on his bed. I crossed my legs and leaned back on my hands, waiting. Soon, the water turned off and I heard Ryan clear his throat. A second later, the door opened and Ryan stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist. I instantly took in, for probably the hundredth time, how amazing his body looked, although I made sure I didn't show it. I was pissed.

"Hey Care," he said, unsurprised that there I was, sitting on his bed while he was in the shower. He walked over to his closet and started digging around.

I didn't answer.

After a moment, Ryan turned around, confused, and said, "Okay, then. What's going on with you today?"

Again, no answer. I just stared.

"Caroline, are we playing some sort of silent treatment game today or something? What's wrong with you?" Ryan finally found what he was looking for, a shirt, and pulled it on. He walked over to his dresser and opened a drawer. He dug around some more and dragged out a pair of shorts, then moved to another drawer and got a pair of boxers. "Whatever," he mumbled as he dragged his feet across the room and back into the bathroom. Ryan shut the door, although not all the way, and I heard him slip on his boxers and shorts. When he opened the door again, he was fully dressed.

I was ready to talk. "Do you remember that night when I got really mad at you up north?"

Ryan seemed surprised that I was talking to him so suddenly. He thought for a minute, trying to remember. "Yeah."

"So, you remember sitting at the fire after I went to bed?"

He thought again, and responded, "Yeah." I searched his face for signs of guilt, but all I saw was confusion. "Why are you asking me this?"

Ignoring his question, I continued, "Do you remember being alone with Tasha?" And then I saw it – it was just there for a split second, but I saw it – guilt. Before he could answer, I muttered, "I knew it," and swiftly walked out of his room.

"Caroline, _wait_," Ryan ran after me and put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and tears flowed down my cheeks. Ryan pulled me back into his room and shut the door. "You know I wouldn't do something like that to you on purpose," he said as he tried to wrap his arms around me.

I pushed him away from me and stood alone, my arms locked against my chest. "But you still did it," I sobbed. "That hurts, Ryan."

He looked down and rubbed his eyes, and then he ran his fingers through his hair. "I know it does, and I'm sorry. I can't believe I did it either; I wasn't thinking." He paused. "All I want is you, Caroline, I don't want to hurt you. Ever. I know it's no excuse that I was drunk, I do. And it's not fair to you that I did this."

We sat there for a while, just thinking and staring. I had stopped crying after a while, but all I could think about was my best friend kissing my boyfriend. And I knew that they didn't sleep together and that they were both drunk and that Ryan had said my name and that he loved me, but why didn't Ryan tell me first? Or when me and Tasha were cleaning the site, why didn't she tell me then? So many things were running through my head.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" My voice sounded loud in the silence.

"I was scared." Ryan looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry. I should have."

I rubbed my aching head and closed my eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"Please give me a second chance." I opened my eyes and Ryan was walking toward me.

"It's not going to be that easy." He put his arms around me and pulled me close. He held me for a minute, then I pulled away. "I have to go." I walked out of his room, out of his house. Then I drove away. When I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw Ryan standing in his driveway, hands in his pockets.


	31. Girl Talk

"When's the wedding again?" I constantly forgot about Travis's wedding date, and I knew he was getting annoyed.

He rolled his eyes. "April twelfth."

"Oh, yeah."

"Oh, yeah," Travis said, mocking me.

I punched him playfully. "Shut up."

"So, would you like to be my maid of honor?" Grace asked me. She, like always, looked gorgeous. A colorful scarf was tied around her head and she wore a pink tank top and a pair of white shorts. She had beautifully tanned skin, probably from her recent trip to Florida to see her grandparents.

I was completely surprised. "Oh, my God, are you sure?" When she nodded, I said, "Of course!"

Grace smiled in the way that only bride-to-be's can. She leaned over to hug me. I liked Grace. She was one of those genuinely nice people that you only meet every once in a while. We had become friends quickly, as she had been at our house a lot.

"Are you guys going to do that whole 'girl talk' thing now?" Travis asked. We smiled at him and he walked away quickly.

"Do you not have a sister or anyone to be your maid of honor?" I asked cautiously.

Grace didn't look phased. "I'm an only child," I nodded in an oh-I-get-it kind of way and she continued. "My best friend Sara can't make it – she's in the Peace Corps. Right now, she's in Africa for two years."

"Shut up, that is so cool! What country?"

"Zambia. She's living in a village and helping out there." Sadness overcame Grace's face. "I miss her already, even though she's only been gone for a few months. We're roommates too, so the apartment has been pretty quiet without her."

We talked for a while longer, mostly about Sara and Travis and the wedding, until Grace brought up Ryan.

"What?" I asked.

"Where has he been? I haven't seen him around lately, and you've been home a lot."

I thought about what I was going to say to her, and how I was going to explain everything. "Me and Ryan are kind of on a break," I said, trying to say what I wanted. It didn't sound right, though. We had been together for almost four months, and being away from him was weird.

"Why?" Grace was curious, that I knew. I didn't exactly know how to say it, once again.

"He cheated on me with my best friend," I said cautiously. Grace's face went from peaceful to upset.

"Oh, my God, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

My face got hot. "I was trying not to think about it."

"I'm so sorry," Grace said sadly as she leaned in to give me a hug.

"It's alright," I told her, "Everything's going to turn out alright." I didn't want her to know that I was not only trying to convince _her_, but myself as well.


	32. The Smile

At school, I wasn't exactly giving Ryan the silent treatment, but I did try to avoid seeing him as much as I could. Although it was definitely harder at lunch, I wasn't doing too poorly. I was still in love with him, and it hurt so much not to see him. One Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting next to Alex and Payton and a few other kids from our group at a lunch table and I saw a girl known as the School Slut (the girl I used to be), Taryn, walk up to Ryan. I could tell she was flirting with him the second she strutted over. Of course I saw Ryan immediately check her out, not because he thought it was okay to do so, but because everything she had to offer was out in the open. Taryn wore an extremely short skirt that could have also been used as a belt, a tank top that was way too tight, and a very generous push up bra that was definitely doing its job and more. I have never owned a push up, seeing as how I haven't needed one. I'm not bragging about the size of my breasts, because it's pretty well known that they are bigger than average. And on my small body, which I prefer to call petite, they're kind of overwhelming.

It's not like I couldn't see my old self in that outfit, but at that moment I was simply angry at myself for being that desperate, that low. Taryn was still in front of Ryan, and now she had placed her hand on his forearm. She was smiling a devilish, seductive smile that I also had learned to perfect; you had to if you wanted to be successful in your conquests. Ryan was also smiling and nodding along with everything she said. That smile made guys so gullible and weak.

"Caroline, are you alright?" Payton asked me, shaking my arm.

I stopped staring. "Yeah, I'm fine." Lie.

"God, I said your name like twenty times." She rolled her heavily lined eyes, then followed mine and finally found what I was staring at. "Oh, no…"

"It's fine," I said again. Another lie.

Alex put his arm around me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am. Really." Yet another lie.

"Okay," he said, unsure, as he took his arm back and started eating his tator tots again. I lost my appetite after seeing Taryn in her stupid denim belt/skirt and Wonder Bra boobs. What was she doing stealing my boyfriend? Well, sort-of boyfriend. On-a-break boyfriend. Boy who was a boyfriend but is now on hold. Shit.


	33. You're Lucky

I was finally ready to talk to Ryan that weekend. I knew he was going to be at the party at Dylan's house, the quarterback of the football team. I planned on going to Dylan's by myself or with Payton and then subtly pulling Ryan to the side and talking to him. The party was right after the homecoming game, so that I could talk to Ryan about us and about the dance. I got into one of my party dresses, a short black dress with a wide yellow belt at the waist. It had wide straps and just a low enough neckline to show off a bit of cleavage. I slid a pair of yellow wedges on with some matching earrings and got into my car. I drove a bit, and for once I was actually doing the speed limit. A guy in an Escalade drove behind me, and was starting to tailgate. I tapped my brakes a little to make him back off, but he only moved closer. After a while, he moved into the oncoming lane to pass me, but obviously didn't see the truck coming. He swerved back into our lane, clipping my front bumper. That's the last thing I remember.

I woke up to a steady beeping sound; beep…beep…beep…beep. I also heard distant indecipherable chatter. My head and ribs were throbbing. I opened my eyes slowly and saw what I figured was a hospital room. I saw my dad sitting on a small couch figuring out a crossword puzzle and my mom curled up next to him, asleep. Under her eyes were dark rings of mascara, as though she'd been crying.

"Dad?" I said, although my voice wasn't as strong as I had wanted it to be. He hadn't heard me. "Dad?" I said again, straining my voice so that it would be heard over the sounds of the various machines.

He turned his head and instantly started crying as he rushed over to me. "Caroline, oh, God, you're awake." He kissed my forehead and continued crying. "Thank God, thank God."

"What happened?" I asked him.

He didn't answer and just held me close to him. I could hear his heart beating in my ear. My father kissed my forehead again and awoke my mom. She also hurried to my side.

"I'm going to tell the nurses," Dad said as he walked towards the door.

My mom was crying and hugging me. "I thought you'd never wake up, oh, God…" her voice trailed off as another sob crept up on her.

I was scared. How long had I been sleeping? What was wrong with me? I also began crying and winced as my tears stung what must have been cuts across my face. My mother held me firmly and sobbed onto my pillow. I closed my eyes. I would have tried to hold Mom back, but my arms were so weak that I couldn't. I heard the nurses rush in with my father. I opened my eyes. Mom sat up and wiped her face with a Kleenex. The nurses took my vitals and asked me the usual questions: What is my name, how old am I, what are my parents' names, what school do I go to, et cetera. I answered their questions and then asked my own question: "What happened to me?"

One of the nurses whose nametag read TARA began to explain as she read the information off a clipboard, "You were driving down County Line Road when a man tried to pass you," I tried to nod but instantly regretted it – there was a sharp pain that shot down my neck and down my back. Tara continued, "He pulled back into your lane when he saw an oncoming truck, and hit your front left bumper with his back right bumper and your car turned and flipped twice. You're lucky you have such a good car – Volkswagens are very safe."

The other nurse, Will, started talking. "You ended up bruising three of your ribs, breaking your collarbone and right wrist, and getting a concussion and some serious whiplash. You also have a bunch of cuts and bruises on your face and chest from the airbag and the glass from the windshield. You came in here four days ago, now; you've been unconscious since. You're in the ICU too, because we wanted to keep your coma under close watch."

I couldn't respond to what they were saying, all I could do was cry a little more. I was in disbelief. My dad told the nurses that he wanted to speak with them some more, and they walked into the hallway. My mom walked over to me and kissed my forehead. "I love you so much," she told me. She then joined the nurses and my dad in the hallway.

I looked around my dark, gloomy room and noticed a pile of cards on the chest across the room. I didn't see any flowers or balloons, but I did see a small duffel bag on the floor, full of my parents' clothes and toiletries. There were two blankets and two pillows next to the couch, and my dad's crossword puzzle book and a pencil were strewn across the cushions. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard everyone come back into the room. I heard my dad say 234, and I felt my bed jerk. I was carefully lifted into the air and placed back down on a colder bed. The bed started moving and the movement carried me off to sleep.


	34. Going Home

It had been three days since I woke up, and I was almost ready to leave the hospital. I had learned that many of my friends and family and even Ryan's parents had brought me flowers and balloons and cards, but they were told to only bring the cards into my room in the ICU. After I was moved to room 234, everyone who had already visited me brought the flowers and balloons they had wanted to give me days before. Tasha came to visit me after I forced my parents to go home and get some sleep before we left.

"Hey," Tasha said quietly after knocking.

I looked at her sadly and said, "Hi."

Tasha slowly walked towards me with a huge bouquet of yellow roses in her hands (my favorite), taking in my healing cuts and bruises and the cast on my arm. She had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were turning red. "I'm so sorry, Care." Her tears fell out of her eyes in big, wet drops on my blanket.

I reached my arms up to her and she hugged me tightly. "Ow," I said. She held on too tight for my neck to handle.

"Oh, sorry," she sniffled with a slight giggle escaping with her words. There was an awkward pause for a minute or two, and then she said, "Please forgive me? I wasn't thinking straight and it's not like I even like Ryan like that or anything; I have Logan. It was just some stupid thing that I would never think or want to do again. It's nothing that I should have done as a best friend. I'm so, so sorry."

Tasha paused so I could talk. I looked at her, seeing the sadness and the guilt in her eyes. "Alright," I said finally, releasing the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I did believe in second chances and karma, so I took my best friend back and was going to let the higher powers take care of the rest. The two of us talked for a bit, catching up on the past three weeks. She talked about how she and Logan had officially started dating and had asked her to his homecoming a few days after we had gone shopping. I told her about the crash and my injuries and what was going on with Ryan, even though I was probably just as clueless as she was. Tasha went to the nurses' station and asked for a vase for the flowers. After she took care of that, she told me she had to go to work. Tasha hugged me again, this time gently, and left.

I looked at my table and saw a few magazines my mom had brought me. I had already read Seventeen, and had skimmed through People. I picked up Cosmo and started reading. After about fifteen minutes, I heard someone knock and then clear their throat, and I knew it was Ryan even before he pulled open the curtain.

I felt my stomach tie itself in knots, partly because of the love I still felt, and partly because of images of Tasha and Taryn. It had been a month since I had last talked to Ryan, and I missed him so much. I couldn't bring myself to smile when I saw him, though. In his hands, Ryan held a large bouquet of all sorts of yellow flowers (already in a vase), a stuffed elephant (my favorite animal), and an envelope, which most likely contained a card saying, "I love you, you're beautiful, get well soon, blah blah blah." A very perfect, very nervous smile was plastered on his face.

Of course, I loved what he brought. But instead of saying anything to do what his gifts, I said, "So what's up with you and Taryn?" His smile faded and his facial expression turned from nervous to even more so. "Yeah, I saw you two." My voice was harsh, harsher than I wanted it to sound, but I couldn't make it sound better no matter how hard I tried. I realized I was angry, even though I hadn't felt angry at him in more than a week.

"It wasn't what it looked like, Caroline, I swear."

"Then why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous. I just hate seeing you like this." His eyebrows flattened out. He was frowning.

"Do you hate seeing me like this because I'm getting better and I'll be back at school soon? Because when I'm back at school, you won't be able to flirt with Taryn at all? Oh, wait, you already did that and you didn't _care_ that I was watching."

"Shit, Caroline, you're acting like I don't love you!" His eyes were like fire now. He shuffled over to the door and closed it. Then he turned to face me again.

"Do you really still love me? Or is that gone too, along with the trust I used to have in you?"

"You never trusted me, you told me that yourself!"

"No, I did trust you for a while, but you kind of ruined that trust when you _cheated_ on me with my _best friend_. How could you ask me to trust you after you cheated on me?" Ryan stopped arguing. He looked at his feet. We both knew I had won. "I thought so."

Ryan walked over to the window sill where all the cards and flowers were. He set his presents down and then sat down in the chair in the corner. He rubbed his eyes and pulled his fingers through his hair, which I now knew was something he did under stress. "There is nothing going on between me and Taryn," Ryan said quietly.

"And how can I believe you?" I asked him. "I obviously can't trust you."

And then, tears began to pour out of Ryan's eyes. I immediately felt bad for what I said, but then I thought about it for a second and I no longer felt sorry. It was about time _he_ felt sorry. After all the tears I cried for him, he needed to cry for me. Ryan cried for another few minutes. When he stopped I was so exhausted from the day and from my pain medications that I fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later and Ryan was gone. He had placed the envelope on my lap. It had my name written in the middle in his sloppy boyish handwriting. It was square and white and had little musical notes in two of the corners. _A music card_, I thought. I opened it up curiously and saw the card. There was a huge picture of Neil Diamond on the front, and he was winking. I instantly knew what to expect, although I didn't want to hear it. I opened the card slowly, but still heard the song.

"Sweet Caroline! BAH BAH BAH!" I slammed it shut, not wanting to hear the song that Ryan sang to me that day at the diner. But, because I was still curious and interested in reading what Ryan wrote to me, I opened the card again and read on.

Caroline –

I know that you're reading this after you kicked me out of your room because you were right,

and I was wrong. I know that I was and still am a complete idiot for ever hurting you. I just want

you to know that I'm still completely in love with you, no matter what you think. I know you

don't trust me and you won't for a long time. Just please know that even though I brought you

your favorite flowers and a stuffed elephant because I know that elephants are your favorite

animal, there's still more to come. And I know that I can't convince you to forgive me just by

giving you presents. Making out with Tasha was definitely not something that I had planned out

of anger or anything, and that I didn't want to do it. It didn't feel right doing it, and I'm not

sure why it happened. Nothing ever will happen like that again, because I love you. Plus Logan is

way bigger and stronger than me and he would kill me. But please just think back to all the

nights at my house and that first night and remember I love you. All I want for you to do is give

me a second chance. I know you're going to forgive Tasha before you forgive me, and I'm sure

you already have, which means you're that much closer to forgiving me. Just think about it. I'm

sick of fighting with you, you're so much better at it than me, and you're right. Please. I love you.

I almost cried when I read his note, and I was dangerously close to reading it again, but because of the music, I didn't. The fact that Ryan knew me so well was amazing to me. He knew that I would kick him out of my room and that I'd love his gifts. _And_ he knew that I would forgive Tasha before him. He was right about being wrong and that I would forgive him. How he knew that, I don't know. As I was contemplating this, my parents arrived with a nurse. She was going to prepare me to go home. She took the IV out of my skin, along with the heart monitors. She made sure all my vitals were back to normal and that my cuts weren't infected. She covered them with Neosporin and gave me instructions to do so twice a day. More instructions were given for my ribs, neck, and wrist. She went to get a cart for all my flowers and helped me into my own clothes. The nurse gave my parents information about physical therapy for my neck and sent us on our way.


	35. You're Still Beautiful

As soon as I was given the "okay" to drive the next day, I borrowed my brother's car and drove to Ryan's. I walked inside and saw him sitting on the couch playing video games.

"Hey." He seemed surprised that I was the first to speak.

Ryan looked at me. "Hey." I stared at him, and he stared back. He paused his game and got up from the couch. He walked over to me and stopped just inches away from my face. Or rather, when his chest was just inches from my face. He noticed this and bent his knees a little so we were finally eye-to-eye and said, "Did you make up your mind?"

Instead of giving him an answer, I just kissed him long and hard. I had missed the way our lips fit together perfectly and how just kissing Ryan made me happy. I pulled away from him and poked his nose. "You're not forgiven just yet." Ryan smiled at me and kissed me again. When we stopped around eight minutes later, I asked, "Are you home alone tonight?" Ryan nodded solemnly. "You're such a loser, playing video games by yourself on a Saturday night."

"I was waiting for you."

I scrunched my nose at him. "Are you psychic?"

"Yep, I always know what you're going to do next," Ryan joked as he gently took my non-broken hand and led me to the couch.

"Oh, really?" I asked. Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Then did you know I was going to do this?" I asked as I pulled my shirt over my head, careful not to bend my neck too much or get my shirt caught on my cast.

He smiled wickedly. "I had a feeling…" Ryan's voice trailed off. He kissed me again. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

Ryan's hands wandered around my body; they skimmed my stomach, careful not to hurt my injured ribs, they traveled under my bra and felt me up, and squeezed under my waistband and fingered me, and all the while Ryan's lips never left mine. He knew exactly what he was doing and where his hands were going.

Soon after we were done, Ryan pulled The Hills Have Eyes out and put it into the DVD player. I had never seen it before, and Ryan said it was the only scary movie that had actually scared him. I was doing fine until the rape scene, when I started crying when memories of Luke flooded back to me.

"Oh, shit," Ryan said as he shut it off. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot about that part." He pulled me up on his lap with one of my legs on each side of him and wiped away the tears on my cheeks. He grabbed my face and pulled it towards him in a sad, sorry kiss. "He's not coming near you, ever, okay? Not when I'm around."

I was so scared, still. How could I have forgotten? Ryan had hurt me emotionally, and the car crash had hurt me physically, but neither of those could even compare to the physical and emotional pain Luke had caused.

Ryan got up and lay me down on the couch and covered me with a blanket. I closed my eyes. I heard him walk down the hallway, probably towards his room. He came back a minute later, on the phone.

"Hey, Mrs. A, it's Ryan." Pause, most likely my mom telling him how much she misses his cute face. "Is it alright with you if Caroline sleeps over tonight? I don't think she's feeling too well." Another pause, my mom saying of course I can stay with him, because she loves him so much, he's practically family. "Alright, thanks. I'll have her call you tomorrow; she's asleep on the couch right now." Pause. She's telling him she loves him and can't wait to see him and to tell me that she also loves me. "Okay, I will. Bye."

When Ryan lifted my head tenderly and slid his body underneath, I said, "You _would_ call my mom."

He laughed. I opened my eyes. Ryan was looking right at me. "All those cuts and bruises and you're still beautiful."

I smiled at him. "I love you."

He smiled back and kissed me. "I love you too." Ryan started playing with my hair and I drifted off to sleep.


	36. Early December

"Um, Grace, I don't think this fits." I had pressed a t-shirt over my chest so I wasn't exposed and walked out of the David's Bridal dressing room with my bridesmaid dress half on: it wouldn't fit over my breasts!

She giggled. "Oh, shoot! Hang on; I'll get an attendant lady." Grace trotted away to find someone to fix my small-chested dress. It was a beautiful dress, and it fit great – except for the chest. It was strapless and a light blue color that made my eyes pop. I heard Grace come back, chattering about the dress. "…and it fits her except for the bust; it's just way too small." She ushered the woman toward me.

"Oh, I can fix that. She's just going to need a bigger dress, and then I can tailor it to fit the rest of her body." She kept looking at me up and down, up and down. Then she came closer and I read her nametag, which said KATHY. "So, go back in the fitting room and when you have the dress off, I'll get you a bigger size." I complied. I weaseled the dress down my body and tossed it over the door. I heard Kathy mutter something as she walked away. A few minutes later, she came back with two bigger dresses.

The first one I tried on still didn't fit, and I just barely got into the second one. "That one fits perfectly on you!" Grace clapped.

I walked out and stood on the platform nearby. I looked at myself in the mirrors and liked what I saw. Although the body was two sizes too big, the chest looked perfect. Kathy got right to work pinning and adjusting everything.

It was early December, and Grace had taken me shopping for a bridesmaid dress for the wedding. She had already chosen the colors: light blue and a light canary yellow. All the bridesmaid dresses were the same color blue, but she allowed everyone to choose their own style. After my fitting, we were going to her own fitting at a small boutique. Once Kathy was done pinning, I changed out of the dress and we left.

"Oh, my God, Grace, that is so gorgeous!" I couldn't get my eyes off of her beautiful wedding gown. It was long and white and had small beads and sequins woven onto it in intricate designs and patterns. The dress was only slightly too big, and only in the waist and chest. The designer who owned the boutique had it tailored to Grace's size in only ten minutes.


	37. Brinkley

"Okay, so if you don't want clothes or shoes or anything for Christmas, then what do you want?" Ryan asked me on our way to a Christmas party.

I laughed. "I don't know, I don't really care."

I saw Ryan look at me out of the corner of his eye. "You do, too." I smiled, and he said, "Fine, then if you don't tell me, I'll have to guess. Then you can't complain if you don't like it."

"Well, you know me well enough; I think you can handle it."

Ryan glanced over at me and smiled. "Famous last words…"

The party was at one of the basketball guy's girlfriend's house. Her name was Brinkley, and she was new that year. She lived on a lake, the same one Ryan sailed on, and her house was _huge_. Her parents basically gave her whatever she wanted in exchange for not having to be an active force in her life. When Ryan pulled into her driveway at nine o'clock that night, there were already a ton of cars there. Ryan grabbed my hand and we walked inside.

"Caroline!" I heard someone yell. I looked around and saw Tasha running towards me. She stumbled a bit so she put her hands on my shoulders. "Caroline," Tasha said again, "I really want to tell you something cool, okay?" She giggled. It was only nine and Tasha was already crazy drunk.

I smiled. "What is it, T?" Ryan laughed and walked into the kitchen.

"Me and Alex," another giggle, "just hooked up!" Tasha burst out into laughter. My face fell.

"Aren't you and Logan still together?"

She shook her head. "We broke up, silly!"

"You didn't tell me about that! When?" It wasn't like Tasha not to tell me something, so I didn't believe her.

"Today."

I still didn't believe her. "Is Logan here right now?"

Tasha snorted. "Yeah! He's over there somewhere!" She pointed to the kitchen, and then lost her balance and almost fell to the floor. She couldn't control her laughter now.

"Tasha, you're going to stay by me for a while, now, alright?" She nodded and I wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "I'm going to walk now."

"Okayyy Care."

I put my hand around her waist and started walking. Her feet didn't move; they dragged. Then she passed out, in my arms, in the middle of the front room. She got really heavy all of a sudden, so I had to set her down on the ground. "Shit, Tasha…"

"Need some help?" The voice was coming from behind me. I turned my head.

I lost my breath. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Luke smiled. "I wanted to see you." He reached his hand out to me and touched my cheek. "I miss you," he whispered.

"Don't fucking touch me, Luke." I was scared. How did he know I'd be at this party?

"Don't be scared, Caroline. It's just me." There was a deranged look in his eyes.

My eyes searched for Ryan. Where was he? My breath was getting caught in my chest. I was panicking. I looked down at Tasha, wishing she would wake up. She didn't.

Luke grabbed me. "Look at me Caroline." I didn't. He pulled me up. "I _said_, _look_ at me." I was still looking around for Ryan. He never leaves me for this long at a party. "Who are you looking for, Caroline?" I didn't answer. "Are you looking for your little boyfriend?" My fear elevated. Luke laughed. I screamed.

I heard someone run toward us. "Fuck." It was Alex. "Let go of her, man." When Luke held me tighter, Alex punched him in the nose.

Luke immediately let go of me. His hands shot up to his face. I backed away. My hands searched my pockets for my phone. I found it and flipped it open. My fingers shook as I dialed Ryan's number. Alex was still punching Luke, and Luke was fighting back. Ryan's phone rang and rang. His voicemail picked up. I called him again. No answer. I wanted to call the police, but I didn't want them to come to the party and bust everyone for having alcohol.

I felt a hand on the small of my back. I looked up and saw Ryan. His nose was bleeding, and there was a patch of scraped skin and blood on his cheek. "Oh, God, Ryan." He held me tight, and I closed my eyes and cried. We walked into the living room.

"Caroline, we have to call the police," he whispered in my ear. I shook my head. "We can put all the alcohol away. Do you want this guy to keep coming back?"

I shook my head again as we heard more guys fighting.

"Let's go get Brinkley."

He held my hand as we walked around the house, looking for Brinkley. We found her in the kitchen, along with Logan, Payton, and a few others.

"I really like your shirt, Caroline," Brinkley slurred. _Great_, I thought, _how are we going to call the police at this girl's house if she's drunk_?

"Thanks," I said nervously.

Brinkley giggled in response. "What happened to your face, Ryan? You're bleeding a lot." Another giggle.

"Caroline's ex-boyfriend is here," Ryan told her.

"Uh-oh, sounds like trouble!" Her voice was high-pitched and teasing.

"We have to call the cops."

Brinkley's face fell. It was like she instantly sobered up. "You can't call the police, Ryan, there are drunk kids here! We'll all get in deep shit! Especially _me_." Brinkley was panicking.

"Brinkley, this kid raped Caroline and he's been stalking her. We don't have a choice."

"Oh, God, oh, God. What are we going to do?" She started crying. "How does he know where my house is?!"

"He found Caroline's house, too. I don't know how."

Brinkley was seriously freaking out, and I realized that I was too. Adam, her basketball-star boyfriend wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. Ryan took his phone out of his pocket and dialed 9-1-1. He talked to the emergency operator about Luke and hung up two minutes later.


	38. Nightmare

We heard the sirens. We tried to get the kids who passed out into bedrooms. Luke was knocked out in the front hall, courtesy of Alex and a few of his friends. When the police came to the door, I felt detached from what was happening, like I was watching a movie about a girl who was stalked by a guy from her past. The police came in and questioned Ryan and me first. They asked me about Luke, and I told them everything that happened in the past year. I broke down and Ryan finished talking to them, showing them the text message and telling them details that I didn't.

"Alright, we can hold him for maybe a night or two, but we'll need more proof," the officer told Ryan as another handcuffed the now-awake Luke.

"Proof of what?" Ryan asked the officer, confused.

"Proof that he was stalking her."

"Didn't we just give you enough proof?"

The cop looked at me, then Ryan. "Listen," he started, "we can't really do anything until we know this for sure, alright?" He nodded and walked off.

Ryan looked angry. I started to get dizzy.

"Care?" his face changed from angry to scared. "Are you alright?"

My hand flew up to my pounding head and then everything went black.

I opened my eyes. I was in a bed somewhere, and as I looked around, I noticed that it was mine. My head was still throbbing. I turned over and saw Ryan sleeping soundly. I figured that if Ryan was with me, I was safe, and I gradually fell back asleep.

There was a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, smiling, thinking it was Ryan, but instead saw Luke.

"Aren't you supposed to be in jail?" I asked him, petrified.

He smirked. "I know a few cops." My eyes got big, and Luke pulled me in closer. "Baby, I'm glad we're together now. You're going to be mine forever." Luke's smile grew into something evil and not humanlike.

"No," I said. "I have Ryan. You can't hurt me when I have Ryan."

An insane laugh escaped from Luke's throat. "Sweetheart, you don't have Ryan."

"Where is he?" I asked, scared for my life.

"You don't remember?" Luke responded, his voice fading. I began to cry, and suddenly Luke wiped away my tears. "Caroline, don't cry. It'll be alright." But his voice wasn't his own; he sounded like Ryan.

"Caroline, wake up." Ryan's voice sounded urgent.

I came to and opened my eyes. "Ryan?"

It was pitch black, but I still saw Ryan's face. "Are you alright?" He was wiping the tears away from my eyes and my face. He looked scared.

"I just had a bad dream, that's all."

Ryan kissed my nose. "What was it?"

I took a deep breath. "Luke had me somewhere, and he said he did something to you and that he was going to keep me forever." I sniffled as Ryan kissed me softly on the forehead.

"It was just a dream, Care, don't worry. He's not going to hurt you anymore."

"How do you know that, Ryan?" My voice got louder. "How did he find me? How did he know I'd be at Brinkley's?"

"He's crazy, Caroline, you know that. I don't know how he found you." Then he whispered, "It doesn't make sense to me, either."

"I'm scared."

Then Ryan kissed me a third time, but this one was different. It was on my lips, and it was urgent and sad. "Me too," he said after he pulled away. Ryan wrapped his arms around me. I lied awake; I couldn't fall back asleep afterwards.


	39. Merry Christmas

Ryan bit his lip as I removed the wrapping paper. "Did your mom wrap this?" I asked him.

His face got serious. "Are you saying you think I can't wrap a present?"

I giggled. "I knew it! She totally wrapped this."

"So," Ryan mumbled under his breath.

I laughed again and ripped the rest of the paper off of the small package. I gasped when I saw the color of the box. "You got me something from Tiffany's?!" I couldn't hide my excitement.

He smiled. "Open it."

I did as I was told and carefully pulled the top off. I saw a white gold chain with two hearts hanging from it: one bigger, one smaller. The larger heart had _Tiffany and Co._ engraved on the side. "Oh, my God, Ryan, this is beautiful."

"So you like it?" His smile was very shy.

I pulled him into a deep kiss. "I love it." I kissed him again, quickly, and said, "Put it on me?" Ryan took the necklace from my hands and reached around my neck. I lifted my hair off my back and he clasped the ends together. "Thank you."

Ryan kissed me again and whispered, "I wanted to get you something just as beautiful as you."

I smiled and felt my cheeks get hot. "Your turn." I got up and dug around my closet for the large package. I found it and drew it out. I carried it over to my bed and Ryan smiled.

It was barely out of my hands when he started shredding the paper off. Ryan opened the box and pulled out what was inside: a couple of guitar picks, a few mousetraps, a Neil Diamond CD, a 4-pack of RedBull, a gift card to our favorite diner, a 6-pack of his favorite beer, a DVD, and a framed picture of the two of us a few months before. The same picture was stuck in between my mirror and its frame, and Ryan constantly commented on how much he loved it.

The whole time Ryan was pulling item after item out of the box, he was laughing. When he finished, he laughed harder and pulled me in to a big, passionate kiss. "I love you," he said when he pulled away.

"I love you, too. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."


	40. The Tape Recorder

It was snowing when I woke up on December 25. I smiled when I saw the huge flakes drift past my tiny window and land beautifully on the white ground. I walked upstairs and looked at my family's beautiful Christmas tree. I saw the many gifts underneath; some for me, some for Travis, some for Grace and Ryan, and some for my parents. My parents were both awake and in the kitchen; my mom making eggs and bacon, and my dad making a pot of coffee. Travis was at his apartment and he would be arriving within the hour with Grace. Ryan called me the night before and said that he wouldn't be able to come because of his own family, but would stop by the day after.

"Morning, Mom and Dad. Merry Christmas."

They both looked up at me and simultaneously said, "Merry Christmas, Care Bear!"

I smiled and set the table for the five of us. Soon, Grace and Travis arrived bearing four presents, and we all sat down and had our Christmas breakfast. After breakfast, we began opening presents. As always, Travis and I sorted them to their rightful owners, and then I got to open mine first. I ripped the paper off of each one in a hurry, and soon it was Grace's turn, then Travis's, then Mom's, then, finally, Dad's. There were a few presents left over, and we all assumed they were for Ryan, so we left them there for the next day.

I felt someone kiss me. I stirred. Another kiss. I opened my eyes.

"Ryan, God, do you ever let me sleep?" I mumbled, turning over.

I heard him laugh. "Nope. I want to open my presents."

"You sound like a bratty little kid. 'I wanna open my presents,'" I mocked.

"Fine. I'm starting without you, then."

I sat up. "No!" I screamed, holding my dizzy head. "Now look what you made me do, I'm dizzy now!"

Ryan laughed again, "You sat up too fast." He grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

I reluctantly got out of bed and walked upstairs. I walked over to the Christmas tree to get Ryan's presents. I got confused when I saw one more present than the day before.

"Hey, Ry," I asked.

"Yeah?" he answered, walking over towards me from the kitchen.

"Did you bring any presents?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Then who is this from?" I held up a package that had my name on it.

Ryan shrugged. "I don't know."

"Hm."

"Open it," he said.

"Open yours first."

He smiled. He really wanted to. "Okay." Ryan opened two gifts: one from my parents and one from Travis and Grace. Then he told me to open mine. I did.

"What is it?" I asked, eyeing the tape recorder.

Ryan took it from my hands and pressed play.

It crackled a bit, then said, "Caroline… I want you to know that I'm coming for you. I want you, and I _always_ get want I want. We're going to be together forever." Then there was a cackle; an insane, maniacal laugh.

"Oh, my God." I looked at Ryan.

"What's wrong, Caroline?" I heard a voice from behind me. "Scared?"

I turned around. I nearly fainted. In walked Luke, along with Patrick and Logan.

"Patrick? Logan? What are you guys doing here?" I asked cautiously.

Luke laughed. "Come on, Caroline, get in the _game_. I had to get my information from _someone_. Ryan, Patrick, and Logan are my _cousins_."

I gasped and almost cried. I realized I was too scared to let the tears come out. I tried to call out my parents' names. My voice didn't work. Then, Ryan grabbed me from behind.

"Come on, Baby, let's get out of here."

I turned around. I finally forced out, "How could you do this to me?" Ryan didn't answer; he just laughed. "I thought you loved me."

He laughed again. "I could never love a _whore_." He put a lot of emphasis on the word 'whore.' "Besides, you fucked up Luke's reputation pretty bad… and _no one_ does that to _my_ family and gets away with it."

"How did I mess up his reputation? _He_ was the one who raped _me_! Plus, I never even told anyone until I told you!" I spat.

"Well, everyone found out about it after you moved, you little bitch." Luke shot right back.

"So how did you pin that on me?"

Neither of them said anything. Ryan started pushing me towards the front door. Luke already had it open, and Patrick and Logan were walking over to Patrick's truck. When we passed Luke, he grabbed my hair and Ryan let go of my arms. I cringed as the pain overtook my body. Luke shoved me into the Suburban, and I hit my head and blacked out.

I was sitting in a chair when I woke up. I looked around for a minute, and then there was a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, smiling, thinking it was Ryan, but instead saw Luke.

"Aren't you supposed to be in jail?" I asked him, petrified.

He smirked. "I've been out for a few days. I know a few cops." My eyes got big, and Luke pulled me in closer. "Baby, I'm glad we're together now. You're going to be mine forever." Luke's smile grew into something evil and not humanlike.

"No," I said. "I have Ryan. You can't hurt me when I have Ryan."

An insane laugh escaped from Luke's throat. "Sweetheart, you don't have Ryan."

"Where is he?" I asked, scared for my life.

"You don't remember?" Luke responded.

I shook my head nervously, waiting to be woken up.

"He's here." My heart lightened. "But he's on my side." My stomach dropped. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. What was happening? Since when was Ryan on his side? How did Luke have me? Luke seemed to have read my mind when he said, "Do you remember opening my special present?" Then it hit me: Ryan and Patrick and Logan were all helping Luke. "Ah, so you _do_ remember? Good. I didn't want to have to explain it to you."

My eyes filled with tears. "What are you going to do with me?"

Luke sighed. "Well, I was really hoping to save that part for later, but if you really want the grand finale now…" his voice faded as he pulled a knife out of his belt loop. I was absolutely terrified. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Luke pulled the sharp blade up close to my face. Memories of Ryan flooded into my mind; how can someone pretend to love someone else like that? I felt the knife on my neck, now. More and more pressure was added, slowly, and I felt it penetrate my skin. The pain ripped through my body. I screamed. Luke laughed. Deeper, deeper, deeper still. The pain was unbearable. It was too much to handle. I blacked out.

*AUTHOR'S NOTE – I am in the process of writing a sequel to "Sweet Caroline," and all questions will hopefully be answered. Thank you!


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